我的人生

2012-02-11T21:30:00.003+08:00

Gone with the wind....

It marks the end of school, at least its the "official" end of school semester for this year. It ended on a high note, watching short theatre productions by our classmates. With chinese xiang sheng, and other plays, it was interesting. Somehow or other, I think I managed to make an impression on my lecturer, she saying that her impression of me is one with low energy, perhaps because I was not actually putting much effort in class and was always lying or dozing off, so she thought I wasn't really good in expressing. But apparently, after the first showcase of one person dialogue, she caught the impression that I was considered not bad and in which I can act in the character that I chose. She said I should have shown her more of the "energy" that I have.

I guess, theatre drama module is the module that made me more confident when presenting. I was actually thinking about the module taken when I was in Year 1, Speech and presentation skills. Somehow, this module is supposed to improve on our speaking and presenting along with confidence. However, I actually thought that this is the module which pulled my confidence down with all the criticism from the lecturer. I guess, different lecturer have different outcomes, or maybe the problem lies with me. I shouldn't speak instead should just act something... haha... But drama module really got me more interested into theatre, not to mention the fact that I was interested before.

Though there is no more lectures, there is still exam and of course project. The problem with the project is that it eats into study break. So instead of resting or studying for exams, we got to rack our brains within the two weeks for a decent proposal and pitch it, and the datelines are so last minute. Its tiring... and once again, I'm procrastinating...

And definitely, I should try to blog more :D

Randomness

2012-02-05T00:11:00.002+08:00

C：哇，他那个三姑六婆还真厉害，懂得响应政府的号召，也知道华语，酷！

D：可不是吗，你以为要当个三姑六婆那么容易阿。

C：不容易吗？

D：当然不容易。你以为每天看到那些阿嫂uncle做在咖啡店翘脚讲话那么简单，他们都是能够眼观四方，耳听八方的。不要说政府政策，他们可能连我们的李显龙总理几点放工，几点睡觉都知道。

C：哇！这么厉害啊！那还真是值得佩服。

D：当然。所以说，不要以为三姑六婆这种工作容易做，告诉你吧，越少钱的工作越难做啊！

C：怎么说？

D：就说吧，清洁阿嫂阿公的工作容易做吗？

C：容易。

D：那你就错了。清洁工不容易做啊。你想想，现在的清洁剂那么多种，dynamo, softie,妈妈lemon，MrMuscle，他们要怎么知道要用什么清洁剂来洗什么东西啊。如果把抹地板用的肥皂拿来洗衣服，怎么样？

C：那衣服肯定会坏。

D：可不是吗，再说，如果把洗厕所的清洁剂拿来当洗碗用的肥皂，你说怎么样？

C：那也太恶心了吧。当清洁工还真不简单。

D：可不是吗，但他们的钱赚得最少了。

C：但他们最不需要用脑的，不是吗？用脑越多的人，工钱就越多不是吗？

D：是吗？我们的政府工钱多吗？

C：多。

D：那国家治理得怎样。

C：还不错。

D：还不错就是有待进步啦。

C：没错。

D：所以他们的工钱不就减少了吗。

2012-01-19T16:33:00.003+08:00

Has been a long time since I last updated, nearly 6 months from what I have seen on my last post. Have been too lazy to start writing anything, and that includes blogging... Havnt exactly decide whether to continue, but just suddenly feeling like writing something. Reason: I'm really bored, and the lecturer is practically reading off the ppt slide. The so-called green aura...

Maybe I should start writing something.. haha.. have been reading stories online, and suddenly feel like writing one with all the ideas in my head. Soon I guess, the story is being churned out somewhere, but I got a feeling it won't end.. haha.. that's so me =D Procrastination... Maybe I should delete all the posts from this blog, especially after studying the lesson on defamation. I bet I defame quite a number of people up here even though I did not use their names, but initial. I don't think I even state my workplace, did I? Still contemplating...

Went back to click through my links. Some of them still working, others said goodbye. Went through guides website to find the posts since Pam opened the blog is still up :D Though it was only four months worth of post, probably about 16 posts, but it still brought back memories. haha.. Scary but fun memories that will always bring a smile to my face. Though may not or rather do not know half of the batch now, besides my patrol, but I guess its still getting stronger. Sometimes talking with the others, especially Joan about the old times can be fun, but with memories, there is always regrets. Regrets with the fact that they didn't like us, the fact that they did not have faith in us to be able to lead well, but nevertheless, we still made it through. :D I guess, I'm really getting old. 19 this year. 3 years since graduating. But still, secondary school days, no wonder people say they are the best. Cherish and treasure when we can. I regret not treasuring...

2011-05-08T18:15:00.002+08:00

war is continuing... Cold war to be exact, the feeling is like USA and Russia. Nothing much really happens, but its still tense. The situation and all... unpredictable.. Sometimes, she's nice, others she's not. Not exactly nice, but its just.. just.. the feeling is just weird. I have totally no idea whats going on in her mind. Suddenly she's all so nice, helping and all, then suddenly she just gets on my nerves... All of a sudden, I wished I had studied psychology, at least I might figure out something. Its totally tiring, mentally exhausting. Somehow or other, the mood weighs on my mind. I can feel myself cheeks starting to sag down, because of my unhappy face, and find myself laughing lesser and lesser, talking lesser and lesser. Times have changed... Will people have more troubles when they grow older?

This is the period when I really feel myself not part of them. The feeling is like I'm just a person who rents a room. There isnt much interaction, not that I dont make an effort for that, but because I really have no idea what to say to them. Its like I just stays in my room most of the time, and them popping in occasionally for no idea what, and thats all... Nothing goes on, nothing happens, but the feeling is there. Its getting worse lately. Small things have been attracting my attention to read into them. It makes the feeling worse, but I cant seem to let it go. Its not like I force myself to read them thoroughly, but somehow or other, it bottles my mind. It really makes me wonder more than I can help it. Small things like being late for the timing I fixed, and yet if I were to be late by just 1 minute of her timing, things get complicated. Trying as much as I can to avoid any eruption from me and to her, but patience is winding out... Situation now is like a volcano emitting tons of ashes and gases, but still not knowing when it will erupt..

Perhaps silence really doesnt mean anything, its just that I am avoiding the situation. But then again, is it better to avoid it?

2011-04-20T01:11:00.002+08:00

Having been thinking a lot about what yuling said yesterday. When looking at parents, they are already growing older by the days, do we really have to lose them before we treasure them?

The image of my dad standing in the middle of the house in the dark keeps appearing before my eyes. He seems to be at a loss of what to do, because of the war. I do know that he is in a dilemma, thinking of ways to try to end it, but still... It really aint easy. Some things are kept in the bottom of the heart for a long time, when it has been sealed for really long time, and things keep stacking up, one day, it will just explode. I am really scared that that day would come.

I am sort of like trying to not bother her much, and getting out of her sight, by closing into my room. does it really work out? Doubt so eh? Besides that, I really have no idea what to do. Its like this is the best I can do to not bother her much instead of retorting back at her. At least I dont make her feel worse. but, is that right? I need an idea.... Feeling tired...

2011-04-20T00:46:00.002+08:00

War has started again. The only difference is that I am the one fighting it...

After listening to the others today, it is true that every family has its own problems. So do mine.. Its starting again, but I am the one involved now. Sometimes, I dont really understand what she wants. If I talk, she becomes angry and sad, if I dont, she thinks I am not listening. Either way, its wrong... Sometimes, I really cant help it but wanting to give up. Upon hearing the others on their stories, I am starting to realize how immature we are in handling these. Retorting back aint going to help the situation, but keeping quiet isnt helping too. So, whats left to do? I really dont know...

Wayne sort of gave us a "lecture" about characters of people, while waiting for the others. What he told me was not to do things to the extreme. Though having no idea what he is referring to specifically, but more or less I sort of figure something out. Its true that some things I do is really extreme, in the way I differentiate, people to be the most common. Its like the simplest thing, like I like you means I like you, I dont like you means I really dont like you. There isnt any space in between for me to play around. For the past term, I have been looking at Alessia, realizing how smart she is. She doesnt show out to other people straightforward, but instead turns a big round, whereas, I am really to an extent that I dont even bother about that person, not even caring to leave an empty space in between us. To some extent, its obvious just by looking, but to another extent, its like closing up all the retreat roads, leaving myself with no backups if anything happens. Its like digging a well, jumping inside and then closing it up before finding a way out.

From that, regarding my current situation, its like I really dont have a back road. In front of me, there's only 2 paths. Either to make up or continue the war. All of a sudden, I thought of Japan in WW2. They had only 2 chances when the Americans bombed them. Either to concede defeat or risk the lives of their people and continuing fighting. In the end, they took the road of defeat. War is never good, regardless of what it is. It just makes people physically and mentally plus spiritually tired, thats all. I do know that I should try to make up, but its like there's this pride in me that refused to. Currently, making up is like admitting that I am in the wrong, which almost equals to conceding defeat. If I do approach her this time, she's going to use the same tactic every time. Perhaps it may seem immature, but this time round, I am not backing down, at least not for the moment. It has been 3 days, since I last talk to her, but 2 hours ago, since she last message me. Though so, her tone and speech was not very nice. Should I be happy that she messaged, because she remembered, or should I be sad because of the words she use? Those words really hurt a lot. Its already the end of my limit...

2011-04-11T22:00:00.002+08:00

Heart to Heart by 4minute.

The guy is Jung shin from CN Blue. Nice choosing in the character, but weird MV, since the MV doesnt really fit the title? At least it is talking about breaking up in a relationship, but the title is heart to heart. From the title, aint it supposed to be saying how sweet the relationship is? but the lyrics and mv tells otherwise. Does it make sense?

Anyway, the song is still quite okay...

2011-04-09T18:27:00.002+08:00

Its a tiring yet fun day. Tired, not physically but mentally... Imagine having to find the answers to the questions, at the same time listen to kwanter and jiewei talk about the 'race', the girls and nonsense with the different kind of vulgarities in each sentence, its tiring right? Looking back, I do really wonder how on earth I managed to tolerate them for the whole 4 hours. Ok, maybe half the time, I was not really listening since they were not really talking to me. However, the thing is, they talk so loudly, especially those words like they are at home. 정말 창피한다 Sometimes, I really wish I was not in the same group as them. The only good thing was they were willing to walk the whole way, instead of running, and bothered to 'look after' me. Not look after as in practically look after everything, but slow down to suit my pace when I was a distance behind them during the segway and bike ride. The bad thing was too noisy and jaywalking. Seriously, there was not a moment of peace with them, not even a minute. But fine, at least they are better than other teams who might be running throughout. Overall, the 'race' was quite okay, besides the fact that some questions kind of does not really make sense, as in kind of weird.

Next race will be the Nike goddess race on 7th May, if they signed up for it. That will be another 'race' in which I will just slack and walk throughout. I mean I could finish one round around Bedok Reeservoir in about 40 mins, and that is like 4.8km. I think if I walk throughout, I might finish it in an hour or so. Even if it defeats the purpose of participating in the race, but forget it. Its time to just enjoy and slack around.

Biggest slacker :D ---- Thats ME!!!! :P

2011-04-05T15:43:00.002+08:00

contemplating whether i should go. I promized to bring it over to her when bring back from camp, but apparently its like I also said I wouldn't for training. Aint it obvious when i brought it back from camp? Unless its something important, I wouldnt go back on it. I mean its like I would bring it to her, and didnt say anything else after that. The only previous time was that I said during camp which was like a week ago that I didnt feel like training, thats all. And through all the messages and msn, even on Sunday, just keep asking me to go. The feeling is like forcing me to do something, and I hate that feeling.

Training has been like 3 times each week, though I dont go for all 3. The thought of having 3 on alternate days is like hell, is like putting an invisible weight on my mind, plus half being forced to go is 10 times worse. Sometimes, I really have this 冲动 to just give up this cca and end up without one. But it doesnt make sense now since the thursday class is starting to let us to our own 套路 freely. I just like the feeling of doing it by myself, without anyone watching or without anyone talking, and of course with a bigger space. Carpet or not, it doesnt really matter to me.

Sometimes, I am regretting to agreeing to join competition. the same feeling of losing the motivation to train is getting larger. And it doesnt help by forcing. The feeling just get worse. Somehow, when competition is near, some get more motivation to train, but some dont. and apparently I am one of those who dont. Its this kind of time that I hate it. Cant anyone just give me some time and space to sort things out? Its like the more people force, the more I am most likely to rebel. Never did I give an exact answer to any question, especially when it comes to asking whether I am going for training. Standard answer is 'see how lor', which doesnt have any specific meaning. Assuming that it is a 'no', is definitely a 'no-no'. It just means that i am contemplating, thats all. It aint very hard to understand is it?

2011-03-26T00:21:00.002+08:00

caught the eyes of over 51 million people. I bet half of them are people like me who got nothing better to do, and is curious about the song. Back to baby time...

2011-03-23T22:49:00.002+08:00

Feeling happy yet so-so right now.

happy is cause went out with cca people to sentosa. Though only like 7 of us, but was still quite nice to be out under the sun on the beach and in the water. It has been quite a long time since the last time I went to the beach and out under the sun. The good thing is that not having work at night, so didnt have to rush off like the last time. Being able to stay till any time, not having to go anywhere else, is the best after going out. The bad thing is that there aint much to do, since all we could do is just to stay in the water, throw sand balls etc. but still, wasnt too bad. Kind of like this kind of company since they are more active instead of like lazing around, though I was the one who kind of laze off easily.

so-so is cause dummy aint happy... Sometimes, its kind of hard to give advices in which I myself also have trouble going through it. Not as bad, but still... Its kind of weird to give advices, when I myself cant do it... Its kind of easier if I just listen, but communicating by messaging, its tougher since there have to be a reply, instead of just listening non-stop. Sometimes its just easier to call, but kind of awkward, so will just leave it at that. Still, I guess its part of life which everyone has to go through. As time passes, I guess things will get better... I hope it will... When two dummies try to lead each other, I hope they wont feel more confuse or get into more trouble...

Time will heal all wounds...

2011-03-17T22:29:00.004+08:00

ame back from a grading test for like about 2 hours, but I was soooooo lazy to go bathe, so waited till now. The test was damn lousy, apparently I got my direction wrong which is bad enough, so tried again. Second grading, I got my balance off... freak.. Apparently my pants got stuck to my knee when I tried to get up, and end up stumbling. Should have asked someone to video the whole thing, its gonna be funny sia...

Currently, I am still waiting. Waiting for the hols to pass, coz I have got nothing to do.. Hmm... Actually, I do have lots of things that I want to do. I need to quickly find a taolu for comp, and obviously practice it... And I do want to learn dance. My mum seems to be 敷衍-ing me. She keeps asking the advantages, and why I want to learn etc.. And apparently I couldnt find any reasons good enough to persuade her. The only reason that I can find is the fact that I wont be using the computer for those hours thats all... Aint it good enough? Or do I really have to find like 2 agreeing reasons and 1 disagreeing reason and write them into paragraphs and essay? haiz... I am kind of slacking my holidays off without doing anything and just using the computer. Besides the fact that I go out with friends, though its to play, but at least I did something eh? Instead of just wasting time away. Maybe I should try to do something more meaningful, any ideas?

2011-03-16T00:18:00.003+08:00

havnt come back for almost a month. Ask what I am busy with? To be frank, nothing at all... haha... I am just kind of lazy to blog and have been watching lots and lots of shows. Ok, not really like tv drama or movies, but just random shows on youtube.

Its only about 2-3 weeks into hols, and I have a whole bunch of things to look forward to. Obviously, its neither work nor training. I am not actually looking forward to training coz my taolu is not out yet. It seems weird that I am the only one without a full taolu, except for the old one of course, which is kind of lousy. So going for training seems awkward, but I guess I have rush something out and start practicing a lot. Not for nationals, but just practice lor.

Just ended a recording at sph for a new radio show. It kind of okay, but as usual, I dont really speak a lot. Throughout the whole 1 half hour or so, i only spoke 2 lines. haha... 1 line for each show, but might be edited away though. The only longer one was when describing how during fire drills one of the student fell down the stairs and broke her leg, thats all. Its kind of so-so... The thing is, the moment I stood up, blank... When I sat down, lots of thoughts. suck eh...

It was kind of fun meeting them again after 2 weeks. 2 weeks before, went to Wild wild wet, coz it was only $6 and it was just the week after exams, last day. So today, saw them again. Went to play pool, which I really suck at, coz my aiming is really..... Seriously, had lots of free balls, but couldnt score in, coz cant hit straight line... haiz... No beginners luck either. The only good thing, or is it a good thing, is that I can hit the ball into some weird place, either at the edge, or far away from the opponent's balls. So is that supposedly a good thing eh?

Looking forward to next week, going to Sentosa, I think. Not very sure though. And then next next week, out again for ice-skating... Not really looking forward to camp though. Actually, I am kind of sick of camps... Have a camp like almost every term break... Even seeing them for at least 2 times a week is bad enough, thinking to even see them for like 3 continuous days... I kind of hope its not like the previous one. Somehow or other, that camp made me somehow irritated and dislike it... :( Hoping and hoping, but then, dont think it will change though...

Its time to change my playlist, after realizing that I have given somebody the wrong idea that I know the songs... haha... Actually dont really memorize the lyrics, I just listen to most of them, unless I like the song, or its my idols songs... other than that, I dont really listen to it quite often, haha... Changing playlist :D

2011-02-21T16:48:00.003+08:00

Its a new week!!! Realizing that i havnt been up here for a week. Has been missing me eh?? haha...

Just finished chionging through 2 assignments. I f

eel so relieved now. Both assignments have been the ones that I have been dragging for a long long time because its too difficult and I am lazy to finish them. Now left with one project, should be able to finish it by tomorrow I hope, and then a paper this friday, and its officially holidays!!!

I am not thinking about anything now, but what to do during the holidays. Seriously, I am sourcing some admin or online work, give

n the fact that I like typing away on the keyboard, but the irony is that I am too lazy to go out... haiz... What a character.... haha.. I am so looking forward to many things this hols, but I think I am going to waste them all. Hmm.. lets see, besides slacking my time at the computer, there is training, working and hopefully able to learn some new classes, but then its clashing with my time... irritated...

I am currently back to training, after months of sianzation :D *Claps* haha... I have just refound my joy in it, but of course besides the fact that I have to travel, in which as usual I am a lazy bum.. To be frank, not really looking forward to training during hols because I bet its going to be 3 times a week, which I dread so much.... Pon 1 go for 2? or pon 2 got for 1? Slackers need advices...

Actually I am supposed to go home now, after arriving to school just to hand in my assignments. What a waste of 2.50bucks... Lecturers should learn to just read it from the laptop instead of asking us to keep printing and coming to school just to hand it in... Its a waste of time, energy and money... but too bad, there is 2years left here... and tomorrow i am back in school to finish up a radio project and then maybe on thurs too to hand in another assignment, and then on friday for an exam. After that, you wont see me back in school for the next 1 half months :D I feel happy now, hmm... maybe I guess... I am going home now..................

seriously I am in love with this kid here,

he never fail to make me smile :)

2011-02-12T23:14:00.003+08:00

Just came back home from work. Tired, fustrated, irritated...

So many things have been going on these few weeks. Rushing out of homework, sleeping late or waking up real early in order to hand them in o

n that day, CNY, family, work etc.

Somehow or other, I am becoming more and more unsure of myself, always wondering what on earth I am doing, especially during work. More and more, especially today, I have been thinking what a fool, what a stupid idiot I am to agree to work today and tomorrow. Thoughts of quitting is getting stronger and stronger. Today is the first time in the whole year I work there that I felt so helpless and so tired. For one moment, I felt like giving up and just leaving. though the kitchen stuff have been helping a lot, it still aint enough because they cant go out to serve. For the first time, I felt my hands trembling, and the plates and food were going to topple anytime. For the first time, I actually felt tears w

ere about to drop. For the first time, I could understand how my chinese colleague was feeling everyday, helpless and tiring. The fun of working is not there anymore. With a great change of personnel, things have been different. Hoping that tomorrow will be a great day and that I wont die easily. I am starting to losing faith... Quitting soon :D That will be the day when I will be happy again :D:D:D After all we are counting on ourselves only. If tomorrow is as bad, rest assured that I will quit. Yay!! Jiayous to Priscilla!!!!!!

I am starting to feel the threat of having filipinos there. not that I am against them, but in my eyes, they are biased, bias towards their own race. Used to think they were hardworking, but now, it seemed more and more to me that they are not. That filipino colleague was already 30 with a child yet without a sense of respons

ibility. I do agree, maybe it is our fault that we stayed back by ourselves to finish our task, but that is so we wont die so badly tomorrow. After all we are only counting on ourselves there.

2011-02-10T19:08:00.002+08:00

Training in 30mins time. Its has been kind of slack for me these 2 months, skipping the school's training, and half poning wufang's one. But somehow, it became sort of tiring, sort of burden in which I'm dreading that the day and time would come. Somehow, the thought of training later, though very slack and training on sat morning seems like a burden. It seems tiring to know that I must go for it, because in about 3 months theres a competition. Somehow, I kind of regretted saying that I would compete. Its that kind of feeling again, where I know I will not be ready or fully prepared for it. Knowing this makes me want to give up, wanting to just lay back. Somehow, my interest/passion died unknowingly. It has been 2 months since the camp. I guess, some things just doesnt suit me, and somehow, I am getting more and more irritated just by the thought of seeing them. I should have just skipped it if I knew this was to happen... Currently wondering if I can back out from it, but I think they registered already. But then, I have no guts to ask... I'm drained...

2011-02-08T09:42:00.000+08:00

2011-02-04T23:03:00.002+08:00

今天，和家人一起去看电影。也不是什么原因，只是因为弟弟纯粹地去看吧了。突然觉得，和他们看电影是我觉得最舒服的地方。因为不需要交流，不需要做任何的互动，只需要安安静静地望着屏幕就行了。真的不知道为什么，突然觉得家为什么不像家，反而像公共场所，没有隐私，处处受控制。房间好像店铺，可以随意进来，随意翻看，随意拿。虽然说了很多次，但似乎都不见效。

有时候真的想，如果我有这个勇气，有这个胆识，或许我已经变成叛逆小孩了。但可能因为太在乎，所以才把事情放在心里。今天，感觉好像跟平时一样，但事实上，少了很多沟通。说话变少了，就算很努力地想要维持，但最后还是放弃了。或许有些事情真的不应该插嘴，不应该插入。真怕有一天真的真的会爆发，到时候该怎么办呢？

2011-02-03T14:51:00.002+08:00

很多事情突然觉得压在心里并不是一件好事。

原本应该开心的一天突然觉得十分落寞。

有时，真的好怕我会崩溃。

有时，真的好怕自己有一天会疯。

有时，真的好怕自己有一天会做出异常的举动。

有时，真的好想逃离这个是非之地。

如果你在街上，看到我在笑，那或许不是真的在笑，那或许只是在隐藏心中的泪水，那或许只是在催眠自己忘却不愉快。已经很努力地想要让自己变得更开朗，更活泼，因为知道真正的我并不是这样的。真正的我是沉闷的，是不常笑的，是个胆小如鼠的人。偶尔会听朋友说我胆子大，说我是疯子，的确，我就是这样的人。胆子大是因为不想别人看见懦弱的自己，疯子是不想别人看见心中隐藏着真正的自己。因为曾经有过这样的经验，曾经在别人面前崩溃，曾经向别人说出心底话，而结果却被说了出去。虽然不算是好朋友，但至少也得保住那一点隐私。

累了，真的累了。真的很像睡一觉，不再醒过来了，但这样做，会不会太不负责任了？毕竟每个人是有责任的。突然间觉得做中间人真不好受。又不会表达自己，又不会说话，真是两边不讨好，但又是作为姐姐，又有什么办法。有时真的再想，如果我有个哥哥或姐姐，那该多好呀。或如果我更成熟，更懂得如何解决问题，那多好。如果如果，一千个，一万个如果，但这些如果是不会实现的。有时，真的很羡慕其他人能够自由，有家庭的庇佑，家就是她们的避风港，但是我的房间，自己一个人，那才是我的避风港，才是属于我的世界，属于我的地方。。。

2011-01-17T20:15:00.000+08:00

I'm starting to realize more and more cons of social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter. Its scary to know the trouble that it has been causing. The cause of all unhappiness, and now its still going on somehow. Though its a way to connect with friends, its also a way to split up with others too i guess.

累了，真的。虽然没有真正地牵涉在内，但事情或多或少还是会有点影响吧。既然过了，又为何再提呢？俗语说：时间能够冲淡一切，但一直追问又有何用呢？难道真的要不欢而散吗？如果真的要说，当天就应该解决了嘛，之后又何必提起来呢？说我们是不守信任地人，但摊牌不是这样地吗？要说才能改啊？！不说，谁知道心里在想什么呢？好像今天，她注意了，那不是很好吗？把话憋在心里，什么都不说，又要别人改，怎么可能？？原以为事情已经结束了，今天又提出来，问题又出现在我们这儿了吗？

人啊，就是两边不讨好。。。这会儿可好，事情越描越黑，跳进黄河都洗不清了。。。

2011-01-16T02:33:00.003+08:00

just came back from steamboat supper. What a heavy supper eh, but somehow, I dont feel really full. Its not the same kind of feeling when I eat buffet. Somehow, meat does not really fill my stomach, but there is no choice but to refrain from eating too much meat.

Today was a great day. Great day at work, great day at home, great day at night. I feel happy and relax. Great day at work? haha.. when was my work a good thing? the best thing that can happen to me today is that I was sent to century square for half day. Good news is there's someone whom I know, that's little consolation. No pair of eyes staring at whatever I do, no mouth to chid me whenever I do. Its great to work under without any pressure...Customers were nice and easy going, they are like 10 times better than simei's...

somehow or other, I'm sick of this job. Its really bad not enjoying it, and dreading to go every week. Maybe, I should really change, but to what?

2011-01-14T18:10:00.002+08:00

So much things have been happening the past few days. I feel that I have grown to be more understanding, more mature, learning much more in life. Many a times, we tend to listen to one side of the story, trying to get the whole picture and trust the person because of his reputation. However, what life lesson has taught me today is that anyone may not tell the whole story and even twist the facts to put the situation into their favor. Not that I am criticizing, but I guess as humans, we would want to protect ourselves from any disadvantages. Even so, I suppose there is no need at all to twist the facts...

I am starting to realize my mistake, my weakness from yesterday's talk. Realizing that listening to any one side of the story is not enough. Sometimes placing trust in the wrong person can really lead to disaster, causing misunderstandings between us. A life lesson learn, always listen to both sides of the stories, never place judgements too quickly. To be frank, being guilty ever since that day, when I saw the facebook comment. It seems that we really did wrong, but since everyone are not in the good mood the past few days, nothing was brought up, the atmosphere was bad and awkward. Eye contacts between each other were avoided and almost no words were being exchanged between the groups unless necessary. Awkward... But now, things have been clarified, most misunderstandings have been resolved. However, there are also some, which still remain a mystery.

When something happens, it is most likely that both parties are at fault. Perhaps its because we are all from different backgrounds, all of us have different characters. Some of us are introverts, whereas others are extroverts. Some are straighforward whereas others bottle up their feelings. When these two clashes together, the straightforward ones may tend to say something that hurt the others though they are unaware of it. When feelings are bottled up, it may just erupt one day. I guess the key is to try to understand and adapt to each other. time is needed to adjust. There are 2 half years left together, and we will be staying together for nearly 5months next year, whatever feelings is best not to bottle them up, or we will be split at that time. It aint a nice feeling after all...

Things are better today, at least whatever was said yesterday, were not brought up. But still, some things still needs to be clarified and will be in the near future maybe. Some things that are not said yesterday, too bad. Its either you bring it up yesterday or hold your tongue forever!!

2011-01-02T19:01:00.003+08:00

This is not just another Sunday, but the 2nd of Jan, first Sunday of 2011.

Once again, I have the urge to pon training. This is really getting from bad to worse, maybe I should just quit it instead of pondering whether I should attend or not. But since I just paid my fees, I guess I dont have a choice but to endure for another 3 months.

Sometimes I dont get why she does not understand the reason behind why I did not like to go, but I guess no matter how I explain, she just wont get it. Forget it. Promize to go next week, maybe I will really have to go. This will be the last week of the hmm... month that I pon. Maybe I will just stick to poning trainings every once a month.

The year is coming to an end in 6 days

2010-12-25T19:26:00.004+08:00

2010 is ending... I used to like it, knowing that the year is ending, because it means I am going up to a new level. but apparently this year, I'm not wishing the year to end, because it means that I have lots of work due soon. But then again, as usual, being fickle-minded, its nice to know, a new year is approaching. New goals, new hopes, new year :D

Next year is going to be another fulfilling year. This year has been a good one. Getting to know lots of new friends, having live poly life to be a fulfilling and lively one. Next year would be better. :D

Next year, I am so going to

- dye my hair (hopefully, since my mum doesnt allow...)

- find a job related to my course, hopefully too

etc... (cant really think of others yet, so currently its just these 2)

Yes, I'm so going to do it!!!

2010-12-25T02:19:00.002+08:00

Just came back from a short gathering cum birthday celebration for a fellow colleague. It has been fun, gathering with a bunch of old colleagues, including 1 "new" one, and another who tag along. went to 85 to eat. It has been ages since I went there ever since graduating from AHS. Drank their always lovely ice milo :D and ate good food like stingray, satay etc. Yummy!!! Ages too, since I last ate stingray, but I just ate satay yesterday only fro bbq, but then, it never hurts to eat more right??!

reminiscing about the old times, when sakae's menu was still white, and even longer, green. haha... Talking about how we, and they used to skive, used to eat as and when they like, cook any food that they could find in the kitchen etc. but, now, everything has changed. Rules are everywhere, but then aint it human nature to break them?? We are smart people, wont get caught that easily de. Anyway, just chatted for the past 3 hours, and as usual, my brain automatic shut down since 1pm...

I guess, this will be probably the last time 6 or rather 7 of us gather together since soon, the remaining of us should be leaving that workplace anytime from now. Any time that cant carry on, its just a call and bye-bye. Off we go :D

This week has been a good week, going out with different groups of friends everyday. But, it also serves as a warning, since I've not really started any homework. and worse is that I've got an assignment due on new year's eve. I really need people to be my interviewee, can anyone just volunteer yourself???? haha... :D

2010-12-16T13:07:00.002+08:00

Rushing out projects, projects and projects.. It seems never-ending, and what's worse is that, results for some are back already. Didnt really do well for it. and i bet i screwed up most, if not all... I'm starting to wonder, is it me, or is it that I'm not suitable for this course?? Media was what I wanted, but I didnt expect it to be so theory based, so much on writing news, and others that I dont really understand or get it. Kind of expected an environment where most will be hands-on. Seriously, I aint cut out for theory. Regretting the choice that I have made...

If time were to turn back..... but it will never will

2010-12-11T13:40:00.002+08:00

Its a happy week... 1 more week to go and its hols. 2 weeks of hols. Though not very long, and there's work to do too, I guess its better than nothing. What a school life, lots of break, and for some dont really learn much, but school fees still being paid... Haiz... nonetheless, looking forward to end of next week, 2 weeks break, 1 week e-learning, then 6 weeks school, before 2 weeks study break, 1 exam paper and then 6 weeks long break......... There goes the end of 1 year in poly. That's fast, aint it??

2010-11-10T00:21:00.002+08:00

I am starting to realize how good weibo is. Its a short and easy version of a blog. :D the good thing is you can write just one sentence and post it up. and others can comment. Its the same as twitter I guess, coz i dont have one, and not intending to get one. Using a blog seems more of a hassle, as if anyone just post one sentence up, it will look weird.

Thus, this blog will be currently dead as for now. It will revive again, maybe in a few days, weeks, or even years.. haha.. by then, it will be forgotten. :D

辩解趣事

2010-11-03T16:03:00.002+08:00

生男好还是生女好？（辩）

A：生女好，因为一般的粗重活儿都不需要女的做。在家中的扛扛提提都事粗重活儿，女生没力气，所以不用干。家中的电器坏了，那些维修工作，都是男生做，所以女生不用干。家中的家务事如洗碗碟，洗衣服等，现在都有机器来帮忙，所以女生也不用干。。。

主持人：那女生是要干什么？

A：女生就是什么也不用干，所以生女儿好。

主持人：那男生呢？

B：生男好，因为女生在旧时代是什么都得做，那现在换过来，我们男生就是要保护女生。

主持人：那女生有什么要说吗？

A：最重要的是男生还是有女生生出来的。

haha.. owned already!!

2010-10-31T21:43:00.001+08:00

haha.. If its me, I will just get beaten sia.. haha.. damn funny la

2010-10-31T12:06:00.003+08:00

WOHOO!!!! second!!! Its better than I thought, though I think it wouldnt be mine if Pearle hadnt drop her weapon. 8.23, haha.. lost to the first by 0.07, but at least I think she deserves to be first given her routine. but anyway it was fun!! NPwushu, Overall champions for 2 consecutive years!!! Wohoo!!!

帅呆了！！！

2010-10-26T15:22:00.002+08:00

2nd day of school, and I'm already sort of sick of it. Maybe its because its only the 2nd day, there aint much to do, besides training for competition this sat. but sort of looking forward to the lessons though, think that its not as bad as last semester I hope, though knowing I would get stuck in most of the things. Podcast, Radio advertisement, Designing of a animated e-card, designing a webpage etc. I guess these would be tough, and when deadlines start nearing, I am so doom... but then again, hope its going to be fun. :D Poly life......

4 days left, counting down. Sort of looking forward, yet not really. Stressed!!! I want a medal!!! Hoping so at least, after all its my first time, and also think that my routine not very interesting, neither is it exciting despite the repeated consolation that its fine. At least that is, comparing to the others. but then.... hopes and prayers... I hope it works. 加油s！！拼啊！最后四天了，不拼一定后悔！！

2010-10-21T23:32:00.002+08:00

9 days!! 9 days left!!!

feeling the stress now!!

kind of afraid in fact.

keep having mistakes this whole week, after having improving last week..

This is bad... real bad...

5 people competing only, aim aim-ing for the bronze.

At least a bronze I hope.. that's if I dont make any mistakes during it.

but after making stupid mistakes like dropping the broadsword during training,

its gonna be hard..

Tmr is the 2nd last training before competition. Hope can do well.

Jiayous!!!

my legs are tired.. so are my hands...

2010-10-21T23:31:00.001+08:00

wahaha... new videos found...

This is so going to be a video uploading place from youtube... haha

2010-10-20T23:26:00.003+08:00

occurred about 2 years ago I think, but chance upon it. Think its not say a good news report though they tried to show the truth, but apparently, they also filmed the scenes where there are bloodstains, and kind of describe in details the whole incident... whew... scary sia..

、、

看完了血腥场面，看点好笑的吧。。

Lucky the video is blur, or else sure super malu de. haha

2010-10-18T22:46:00.001+08:00

Find this familiar? No harm watching again eh...

one more video to watch...

WARNING: THIS IS NOT A POST BUT RUMBLINGS WITH VULGARITIES!!

2010-10-17T00:24:00.003+08:00

today suck!!I wonder why the hell I'm continuing with this suffering?? Fuck him sia, for bitching!! Dumb... but then again, what has he got to do with me? I shouldnt be influenced by him Fuck! He spoiled my mood for the whole night. damn it!! like seriously, I'm considering of quitting the job, its little pay, and have to do everything, and worse, get builled my some idiot assistant management trainee. Rubbish!! If this is how he's going to be trained, thats stupid coz he offended each and every one of us there. And I'm so ready to blow up at him if needed! Who the hell gives a damn to this kind of work place? Fuck... Its stupid, and I knew I already offended him in some weird way. If cant take it, why work? (ok, that seems to be shooting me, but too bad) Its either I quit, or I give him temper thats all. The most he can do is send me off home early by bitching thats all. But only she's going to listen, the others, I doubt so... but too bad she's transferring, so theres no one to bitch to. Bastard!!

Working is all about being bullied if you are lower post, or cant get along terms with someone higher. Too bad. He either see more of my temper, or I just work less. Anyway, I dont need the income to live, at least currently. When I really need it, this will never be my job. its retarded and stupid. Fuck... Maybe I should really quit, but..........

In every job, aim for the highest post, or risk getting bullied, especially those you have total no idea when you offended them...

2010-10-14T23:15:00.002+08:00

tmr is the last day, e last day, e last day. Tmr is e last day, e last day of work!!

I'm so looking forward to it, and after it ends. Afterall, it took up my 2 whole weeks of hols, which forbids me to go out, and expecting me to get home early for bed, which is real bad. and I'm so looking forward to e next month in getting salary. Yay!!! but got this feeling, maybe abt 1 quarter of it will be spent on school projects.. haiz... I'm dreading school now, though I did looked forward to it sometimes... how?! next looking forward thing, 2 weeks term break at the end of dec. thats more positive eh. Its going to zoom past and soon I'll be 18!! Driving license!!! A car!!!! seriously cant bear to wake up early in e morning and squeeze on e bus, or take nearly 2 hours just to get home. besides, parking at np is just 80 per sem. Great deal eh. I've decided to ignore the government about the use of public transport since its so troublesome, and a great waste of time. Anyway, I bet they use cars too, and motorbikes surrounding them. aint that more pollution?? waiting..... waiting.... waiting.... 5 more months to be officially, e end of the month...

2010-10-11T23:35:00.004+08:00

The start of another week. Hopefully, its going to be a nice one. The day had started off quite nicely, with slacking as usual. However, it became havoc in the afternoon after like 2 people from different departments gave me work to do. I did rather have this kind of life rather by slacking to be actual (rather contradicting myself). But its nice to have something to do, rather than someone telling you to do slowly as they did not have anything else for you to do, and all you have to do is to do slowly and wait till the end of contract. I wonder if she knows that the contract is flexible? Nice income, but not really nice with the fact that I have to wake up early in the morning and sleep almost quite late in the night after training. I'm waiting... Waiting... till the end of this week.

Holidays are ending soon, next week being the last week. Thinking about it, I guess I did not actually waste my time away staring at the monitor watching dramas, though I want... Let's see, Worked for almost 3 weeks, slack 2 weeks, and where did that another 1 week go?? No idea. Forget it. but have been still learning a lot this hols, though I kind of forgot what I learned... Dumb eh...

Aha (lightbulb). This is what I learned (while slacking during work):

Facts about Days.

National Boss Day - 16/10 (registered in 1958)

International Women's Day 8/3 (started in 1909) [is this the reason we are having this handbag thing on fb?] OIC!! So its for breast cancer?? no link leh, it should be changed to bra or sth near that eh..

World's Teachers Day 5/10 (started in 1966) [since so, why are we celebrating on 9/1?]

Friendship Day - 1st Sunday of August

YOUTH DAY 12/8 (started in 2000) [only? That's late, but better than never] :D

2010-10-10T22:53:00.000+08:00

went to wan qing yuan. last 2nd day before it is officially closed for upgrading or renovation, either or. My guess is some people might think damn lame (e first reaction gotten from joyce, thanks), but still, I guess its just going to see it before its closed till next year. Anyway, its free. Lots and lots of exhibitions inside, thought that it was going to be fast since the outer part of it looks small. Who knows, step in only, it was quite big actually, which makes sense in a way that it used to house nearly 400 refugee militants. Was really nice since they showed everything, the revolution of China from the start, the uprisings and till his death etc. There were like lots and lots of pictures, some of which was quite horrifying. There were real pictures of those who got their head chopped out (literally), the dug out intestines and liver from one of the captured assassins etc. And what's worse was, I actually stared at the picture for quite a long time. Seriously, looking at those pictures, it will become imprinted in the mind.

But, I guess, it was all worth it in their eyes at that point of time. Without them, perhaps China would be different, how the Europeans and others treat China and the Chinese would be totally different. We would be 10 times being humiliated and look down upon than now. Maybe...

Pretty eh?

2010-10-09T22:42:00.000+08:00

went out with Joyce, Jyening and invisible Jingting... Actually, there was much to do with the fact that they wanted to shopping... Greatest headache cum leg ache of all times. Ok, at least I got my pair of slippers. What was really bad was that we had to stand all the way to orchard, then walked to scape, and then to 313 and then to far east and back to orchard. This distance I bet is at least 100000000km.... and it excludes the walking around the mall... ok, at least I get to see what they sell in there again, and found some nice clothes, but didnt have the money to spend. too bad... and I didnt get a nice formal blouse for school... haiz... I shall go out like next week to get one, hopefully, if I'm not lazy, though I supposed I will be too lazy to go out. Cant anyone just like find it and then I will go there straight to get it. Saves time and energy. :D

can you see 4 people in the above 2 pictures??

haha...

3 people here :D

2010-10-09T01:55:00.003+08:00

just ended the first week of work as admin. Cool!! haha.. at least finally tried this job. Realized the pros and cons of admin work.

Pros: can slack, eat whenever you want, not tiring.

Cons: damn boring.

I'm sure there are more pros, so overall it's a good job. but not suit to my character, i think. sure sure hope that next time my job wont be an admin job unless looking for a stable career.

Anyway today was damn cool, coz i basically slacked the whole day. spent like 5 hours scanning just 17 sets x 2 of papers. and then spent another 3 hours just typing on e typewriter. haha.. seriously, this is slacker job. but its not that i'm a slacker, its just that they happen not to have anything for me to do, so cant help it. but seriously, this is cool in gaining experience of doing different things in the different department. the good thing of a small company is that you do most of the things, get to do to be exact. For this whole week, i did like data entry and tax invoice, when i'm in the marketing and sales department. nice experience. the next job i still want try admin, and to be like joan. key in data everyday. haha... can imagine the boredom, but still want try sia. and then try different companies and then different jobs. yay!! this gonna be fun at least before finishing poly. Jiayous!!

modern typewriter (Electronic typewriter)

able to backspace and retype, but only can type 65 letters.

so whats they really good use of this?

2010-10-03T21:50:00.001+08:00

两名女子穿古代侠女服比武招亲(图)

http://www.dayoo.com/ 2010-09-30 16:42来源：南方都市报网友评论 (0)

2名比武招亲的现代女侠，身穿古代侠女服装，脸蒙着红纱巾，手持2把宝剑，与8名报名参加比武招亲的男高手过招，男高手要在30秒内亲手摘下女侠面纱方能过武关。此比武招亲擂台战10月1日在三水荷花世界开擂，昨天，2名女侠一身劲装正式亮相。

据悉，这2名女侠今年芳龄22岁，分别叫小琳与小英，均出自武林世家，练武时间在8年以上，精通南北功夫。2人在这个月初正式亮出比武招亲名头后，共有8名男武林高手符合条件入选。1日至3日举行擂台赛正式打擂。

比武招亲程序要经过文比与武比，文比就是比对对联，由2名女侠出上联，参赛的男高手要对出下联。

比武主要有以下方面：比弓剑，在情人岛湖中心吊一个绣球，每名男高手给三支箭，看谁在三箭之内将绣球射下来，成绩以分数计算；二是比狮艺，在狮队助手的帮助下，先舞传统狮，然后每人手持一个南狮上高桩，必须独立走过高桩，不摔下来速度最快者为胜；三是比武术，每人表演一个武术套路与一套武术器械；四是男高手分别与比武招亲师妹的丫环展开对打。

adapted from: http://news.dayoo.com/society/201009/30/54437_14041636.htm

哇噻，现在还有人这样打，甚至还有人这样比武招亲，而且还一定要文武双全。佩服噻。。

2010-10-01T20:40:00.001+08:00

though her english no good, but the way she think of the way to get the answer is really good..

2010-09-30T22:58:00.002+08:00

人或许都应该要长大。只有长大了，才会明白事情的来龙去脉，了解事情所发生的问题与过程。

或许因为不同的生活环境，或许因为不了解对方，或许因为自私，或许。。或许。。太多太多的或许使我无法了解她心目中的真正想法。以为自己已经历过了这个阶段，以为已经放下了，但原来听到这一句话，心里还是不由得震撼了，不由得又碎了。原来始终都没放下，只是硬压抑着这个感觉，将这些想法抛在脑后罢了，并没有真正释怀过。表面上所看到的一切，或许并非真正的自己，而是为了各种原因而逼自己呈现出来的一个假象。有时连自己都搞不清楚到底那个才是自己，又或许每一个都是自己，只是在不同的场合，面对不同的人而呈现出不同的一面吧。这就是人生吧。每个人都有不一样的面孔。

唉。。现在最期待的莫过于赶快成年，赶快能够完成学业，找份好工，自力更生。或许听起来似乎自私，但好不容易压抑的一句话，今天她又脱口而出了。或许是一时口快，但有些话一旦说了就没有婉转的余地。不知以后会不会这样？？

Now, all I'm looking forward to the day where I will be officially independent!! Will that be in around 4-5 years time? or even earlier??

camp camp camp

2010-09-28T22:28:00.002+08:00

the 2nd day after camp. actually i'm kind of lazy to blog about camp, coz too much things have been happening. Basically i practically regretted bringing my mac over. We have like hours and hours of free time in which i have totally no idea what to do besides to sleep and stay around doing nothing. There were like more hours of slacking and free time than training time. but training was tough and tiring. I never knew how freaking big NP was before running around the school. ok, not that i have no idea, but i never knew it was this big. First time ever since i came in that i wished that NP would be 10-20 times smaller. normally, i do wish that NP was smaller but maybe only 5 times would be enough. this time i wished NP would be as small as a primary school, or even a kindergarden. its tiring especially on the last day. Imagine doing 2 routines, sprinting across the width of the field, running 1 round of the track, and then up and down the grandstand 20 times before dashing up the slope 10 times and then embarking on a run around the school in 20 mins and last but not least, doing nearly 200 sit-ups all in 3 hours. tiring eh. I hope it helps, coz i am currently not feeling any muscle aches from all those, but got heat stroke. again. was like 2-3 years ago that i got one in palau ubin. now a 2nd one. cool eh?!

After training, everyone was like super happy. so happy that everyone even had the energy to go out to eat dinner. the whole KFC practically was full of our voices. one group of us even had the energy to go drink liquor. Damn Kwan ter for buying liquor. Gabriel Foo even got drunk. he was like freaky funny. should have taken a picture of him. He was like doing baji quan which looks like 醉拳, which proves that he's drunk and he went like "I am a dog, I can bark. Woof Woof" and then it became something like "I want to f everyone."which goes to show how drunk he was. came back loft and became worse. he practically just fell to the floor, but didnt get knocked-out luckily. Pearle was another one. Drunk too thanks to playing truth and dare. famous line "I am a superman, you are batman." haiz... poor me got to stand her nonsense while forcing her to lie down and sleep. only got to sleep at like 2pm coz she wouldnt sleep. and the worse thing was tio influence by her, then also became violent. haha... damn kwan ter, come out with all the funny things.

but anyway, camp was still fun though tiring. it kind of really bonds everyone together, and see the characters of different people, even those that seldom talk to.

Next camp is in 2days. I'm thinking of pon-ing it though loft was quite nice. but then again, without knowing anyone there and the fact that they are going to play really dirty games (told us to bring unwanted shirts), i am re-considering on attending. but then, i want to play with their equipment, esp their lights... but then.... haiz... What a fickle-minded person I am.

After pon-ing the first time, there's always an urge to pon the second time...

tomorrow is the day. 明天是那天。

2010-09-23T22:26:00.002+08:00

makes sense? no, because its called a direct translation.

Its camp tomorrow. training camp. wushu training camp. this doesnt seem appealing like obviously... perhaps its guides, perhaps its... actually i have no idea why, but i am totally starting to have a phobia for this. camps are ok, but why do i have this phobia? really wonder how did i went through the past 2-3 years of camps?!?! really wonder who else has this kind of phobia manz?? this is like so weird. so so weird... haiz..

I'm so not done with packing. to be frank, i actually havnt even started. the good thing about guides is that learning what to bring and what to not bring for any camps. knowing how to bring the least amount of things... haha..

wish me luck for training tomorrow. lots and lots of luck. you see me back more refreshed and energetic. if i'm still around. haha :D

2010-09-22T22:31:00.002+08:00

just spent my day doing goodness know what. this money is easy to earn, but very boring. using the phone the whole day, talking to strangers erm, doctors actually who are apparently too busy to reply or even bother to reply. so, my day is spent talking on the phone which i never do. five minutes on the phone only, i can feel the headache. maybe its because i'm talking to a friend, have to keep thinking of topics. but then again, its kind of ok to talk to strangers especially when already have an idea to as what to say, and that the fact that i hang up the phone longest at 2 minutes. But seriously, its a really boring job. kind of regretted accepting it. but nvm, its an experience. should have asked the person what it was about. anyway, he sent me the job scope and i realized that its more of dealing with people. What luck... seriously, i did rather do data entry, typing words after words, numbers after numbers rather than talking on the phone. At least what i am dealing with is a computer, a non-living thing in which there's a total no need to use my brain and neither do i need to talk. rotten luck...

anyway, first day of work, still considered smooth sailing.

lets see if the second day is as smooth as the first day. more calls to make...

waiting waiting

2010-09-21T22:38:00.003+08:00

working tomorrow. admin job finally. but somehow it doesnt seem to be the one that i'm looking forward to. maybe I should be more specific. data entry job should be the one, but too bad its called admin, which means inclusive of filing, handling calls, faxing etc. but then again, this are so not the ones that I am looking forward to. look at my files and will understand how bad my filing are. look at the fact that i seldom call anyone and that the fact that i reject to telemarketers jobs and will understand how bad my listening is. haiz... that's really bad.. hmm.. i hope that the day will go smoothly, morning, afternoon and night. phobia...

seems to get so much phobia these few days, and its only the second week of holidays. but nvm, its a road to growing up. next time, these phobia(s) will disappear... hopefully...

加油！！

2010-09-20T22:01:00.004+08:00

我尝试了，尝试放弃，但最终还是失败了。放弃有那么难吗？为什么我还要挣扎？为什么还要不断地伤脑筋，要不断地给予自己烦恼？一个半月少一点，真的有足够的时间吗？我怀疑。不是怀疑时间的关系，而是怀疑自己，怀疑自己的能力。其他大多数的人都把整个套路给学完了，而只有我还在苦苦地挣扎。真的不想到了比赛那天心里还是忐忑不安，最后包尾。包尾的感觉肯定是不好收的，但始终都得有人得是那一个，而说不定那个就是我，也相信以现在的进度，我就是那一个。

一个礼拜4天，试问谁负荷得了。每次回家不是这儿痛，就是那儿酸。真不敢想象放假后会是怎么样。唯一值得期待的肯定是会瘦下来。相信应该会吧，只要不吃快餐，不暴饮暴食。但压力大，我还真的会那么做。唉。。命运莫过于此。或许经历过才会更加珍惜，更加勇敢－敢于尝试，不怕被笑。毕竟传媒课程也食需要厚脸皮啊! 下次见到我，肯定是学会了十八般武艺！

2010-09-16T23:07:00.000+08:00

或許是我沒種，或許是我害怕，或許是我沒信心，或許是我早已認定自己的失敗，或許是我真的沒辦法做到，或許。。。一千，一萬個或許，但或許這些只是藉口。曾經許多次告訴自己一定行的，一定能夠做到，但面臨一次又一次的失敗，實在讓我很難再相信自己。曾經看過許多連續劇，劇中男女主角在失敗中不斷地努力，為了心儀的人、為了自己的夢想，在跌倒中不斷地堅持，不斷地努力，而最終的結局肯定是成功的。人家常說，連續劇是人生的反映，或許現實中真的有這樣的人，但那個人卻一定不是我。

很少，真的很少我會從睡夢中驚醒，醒來時，滿腦子都是套路，都是動作。那時害怕的表現嗎？還是真的是日有所思，夜有所夢？那晚，我只睡了三個小時，就再也睡不著了。或許真的是我窩囊，是我在選擇逃避，不敢面對現實，不敢再面對打擊。為了比賽，我不介意－當我有信心之時。但真實的我卻並非這樣，尤其是在極度的自卑里。看到一個個那麼認真，那麼厲害，真的不難感到自卑，尤其是自己的套路，自己知道真的不行。真的不希望站上去的那一刻，忘卻了一切，讓恐懼的心裡圍繞自己，到時恐怕就連想鑽個洞都很難。。我是不是應該放棄？

2010-09-12T15:39:00.003+08:00

ever seen a lizard so close? that u can see almost all the features on its face? haha... this is a picture where u can see it up close. honor!! haha.. FYI, its real, just that dead already. so to show that we must all be kind to animals. 阿弥陀佛，善哉善哉。

2010-09-12T00:24:00.002+08:00

Today goes the first day of so-called school vacation. haiz... spent whole day almost slacking at work, which I'm terribly sick of it. time should not be spent in this way. this is really bad. Look at the time ticking away when I'm doing nothing. Ok, goes to show, I shall either find a new job or find something to do, which is terribly bad coz I have total no idea...

Ok, I shall spent the whole day listening songs. I'm like so addicted to songs... Somebody should have a website or something that allows different songs to play continuously, but can be repeated, or else will just have to on the radio, which I dislike.

Joan and me seems to be the only free ones currently. Every other one of my friends are all in jc, which is really really bad! which means that another 1 month or so more then able to see them. but by then, its school. what a lousy planning of hols. Why cant everyone's just clash together? To make sure we really study? hmm.... I wonder who came up with this ridiculous planning of holidays...

addicted to this song, currently.

2010-09-09T19:06:00.003+08:00

its over!!! Finally over!!! after losing so much brain cells over 2 papers...

2 hours for the paper is a long long time, and what's worse is that i didnt know we are allow to leave once we finish the paper. haiz... I'm glad I studied a tiny weeny bit, at least what came out was what i spotted, and that the fact that whatever came out was almost exactly the same as what we did as practice paper and during lesson! wth... ha

ha... it was piece of cake, all of a sudden, i so love this teacher. his hints are like wow! almost telling the topic cum question.

During the exam, i was like half looking at the girl beside me who was doing maths. I bet it was something like A-maths coz if anyone would say it was emath, I wouldnt believe it. anyway she was doing math and flipping through the paper feverishly. suddenly, I wondered if I was still doing amaths, would i still be like so pia on this subject like last time? I bet i will be damn sianz, and not feel like doing. maybe I would be the one leaving almost all the questions half-done or blank. haha... maybe its a good thing to choo

se chinese coz first dont need to memorize by heart, just agar know the theories can le. secondly, dont need use so much brain cells coz no right or wrong answer. It depends whether the teacher can accept your answer or not. So i guess this is 10 times more suitable for me. :D

End of exam. its time to relive yourself and play till your hearts out. Oh, and dont forget to find a job. haha.. Its time to keep pens somewhere in a box till 1 1/2 month later. :D but then again, what shall i do in these 1 and half month? I certainly dont want to work the whole time, and not train wushu almost 4 times a week. haiz...

Looking forward to tomorrow. I hope I wake up early, or else... keep waking up at like 10 plus 11 these few weeks. this is not going to be right. Shall start sleeping at 10pm from now on.

2010-09-05T21:50:00.003+08:00

This is indeed tiring but touching at the end.

"you're no more a boy, you're a man, a trained soldier."

Powerful, plus letter-writing from the family, 10 times more powerful!!

2010-09-01T22:51:00.003+08:00

Its exam tomorrow!! Why am I still slacking?? Why am I not feeling anything till now? No stress, nothing. This is bad, really bad. I have totally no idea what kind of questions will come out tomorrow, and I dont like the feeling of not knowing. Is like of all the lessons, have to study all, but there isnt really focus. Its not like maths where you need to memorize the formulas, not like chemistry where you just know roughly what will come out, is not like chinese and english that there is a exact type of questions that you dont have to study for. This is really really a bad feeling. There seems to be a lot to study, and nothing to study... haiz... what is this coming to.

Wish me luck for tomorrow... :D

2010-08-31T23:43:00.004+08:00

from an email of my uncle.

Something to laugh about if you are feeling the stress over upcoming exams or promos. :D

I'm sorry, but i think the shop is supposed to be self-service.

this is sexist. guys do pole dancing too!!

Hello, is that the cockroach hospital?

i sure dont want to risk that, unless mine is airstrip.

woof, wroof, grrrrrr

Thank you.

Hmm... 1 out of 4, i guess that one is most likely to be me.

but then again, you never know

This is so accurate.

No wonder its always so dark when i'm not speaking

Good point.

For all we know, we might be in the same place. :D

This is called friends forever.

2010-08-28T00:03:00.002+08:00

简单是什么？

或许我们每一个人的答案会不同。

或许是独自发呆，沉浸在自己的世界里，或许是某个人甜蜜的微笑，使你一整天的心情愉快。

有时，简单是一种快乐，是一种幸福，是一种美好。

因为它能够让我们看清楚世界的美好。

把一切都想得完美，十分美好，那是憧憬，是希望，是未来

。

童话故事中的爱情、友情都是单纯的，一眼就能看穿。不需要丝毫的推敲，不需要费精神地思考感情的真假，只需要继续读下去，知道故事将会是个美好的结局。这就是童话故事。

如果有幸遇到一个能够以简单的感情相处的人，就要好好珍惜，因为这种关系在世界上基本上是不存在了。

越简单的感情，是越能够经得起考验的。

但有时，简单也是愚蠢的。

因为它使我们活在虚假的空间里，使我们无法认清楚这世界的真面目。

把一切都看破，那是现实，是实际，是真确。

人世间与童话故事不同。爱情、友情很多时候并非表面看得那么简单。

当中藏着许多不为人知的秘密又有谁知道。

没经过细心的推敲，仔细的考量是不会理解对方心里的真正想法。

要了解对方，就得经历几千几百次的失败，看过成千上万人的真实面孔换来的宝贵经验。

到时，我们也懂得怎么去面对他人，怎么去应付他们。

这就是现实。

或许世界还存在着单纯的感情，但遇到的时候，请要好好珍惜，因为那是难得可贵的。

简单到底是什么？

2010-08-25T22:18:00.002+08:00

went out with joan to study. and we both are late, as usual. seriously its a good idea to say to meet at 1130 then by the time we are late so on and forth, it will be 12, just nice eh. haha... we went to just acia (i think that's how its spelt), and sat there for nearly 30mins waiting for cecilia and b4 ordering our food. and realized how impatient the staff are, like they are afraid we are just finding a place to sit and not going to eat. too bad we are... waiting... waiting... waiting... Joan, being 'hardworking' studied, which i bet nothing went in. and i read 8 days... Raymond Lam... haiz... boring...........

waiting...

CECILIA CAME like finally... actually there wasnt much to do there, besides ice-cream and more ice-cream, and of course, even more ice-cream. YUMMY!!! Their ice-cream is fabulous!!!

and then since we are all thin skinned, decided to leave and see if we would go cecilia's house to study, in which joan kept saying "its weird". after thinking, i decided that i couldnt agree with her. What so weird about going to somebody's house to study?? hmm... *deep thoughts*......................................................................................................................................................... I give up. couldnt think of anything weird about it. Maybe Joan's e one who is weird. nvm... i'll live with that. she's always weird, so i guess its not surprising that she found it weird... and then we decided to go to the beach to study. the beach is such a wonderful place, coz u wont eat, and the only think u can stare is the beach and look at people running, in which there was not any hot hunks or sexy babes. so all in short, the trip to the beach, failure. but i'm going there tomorrow. with the sea wind blowing at my face will be nice and comfy, a different environment to studying in air-conditioned place which is so unhealthy...

2010-08-24T22:21:00.003+08:00

wahaha... saw this on youtube.

I bet Joan is going to start guessing all the songs...

and this is like only part 1...

2010-08-20T22:30:00.002+08:00

talking to my dad whenever he fetches me home from work alone is always encouraging. at least, telling him about the encounters i meet @ work, about some of the problems met throughout the day, about some interesting things that i heard/seen is kind of enjoyable. no stress, no irritating and unpleasant sentences, nothing. are most dads like that?

talk about work...

practical...

there are like 4 newcomers next week, which was WOW!!! but i kind of hope they dont quit after 1 month or so like the previous few. and then telling him about how i felt cheated from my supervisor, coz she was telling me that she hope to go off early, then ask me to 顶 her on fri so that she could stay late on sunday. but today she told me to 顶 her on sun so that she could go off early. What logic is that? when i told her i've got sth on on sat, she told me not enough people. but the good thing about being a part-timer is that i can choose whether i want to come on that day on not, which is tmr. It led me thinking that if it was my colleague, cfm cannot de. once she told her that she needed to move house and request to change schedule, but it was rejected with the excuse of not enough people. talk about logic. luckily we got a nice nice manager, who is quite fair. but problem is she's from t2 and there is a new assistant manager trainee who is training now, which means that she might be going back!!

seriously, just within 8 months that i worked her, have seen quite a number of really nice managers, and the point is they are all singaporeans. not that i am biased towards them, but seriously think that my outlet's are kind of abusing their powers. listening stories from colleagues, above is one, and there's another one too.it seems to me they are not good superiors but we have good colleagues. that's what made me stay. that's the only good thing there.

more and more filipinos in our outlet, which makes life difficult. experienced how lp worked throughout this week without james and keat yesterday. seriously, it was really really boring!! nobody to talk to, since i've got language barrier with them. ok, not that they cant speak english, but i cant very well understand them, and am more used to speaking chinese there. so kept quiet the whole day, which was really bad. keeping quiet will produce bad breath, which was really bad especially when u're supposed to talk to customers after shutting the mouth half the time. so, what i did was drinking lots of water, breathing with my mouth half-open and slacking in the kitchen talking with the kitchen people. 10 times better.

and today, to 弥补 the hours that i spent not talking yesterday, talked quite a lot with lp and james who kindly and weirdly came back to help. I kind of miss them a lot, just after 1 day. had those 老搭档的感觉。it was fantastic, and there was one chinese! 10 times easier coz he can listen and speak chinese. seriously, translating from chinese to english all the time in my head is really bad, and really disturbing for the brain. all these brain cells could be put to better use. haha.. lp was telling too that the first thing she asked him was where he was from. and that was too the first thing i asked him. seriously, somehow feel that more of them makes me more at ease, especially when the managers are all filipinos. all in all, yes, i admit that i'm kind of bias against them. but that's what life is about. more to meet as we all grow older. its good meeting them young so that get more experience and know when to not get cheated...

I feel relieved now, but there are lots and lots of question circling in my head. its time, time to sleep, and then maybe when i wake up, i might have the answers :D, or i might forget them all :S but i doubt so... NIGHT

2010-08-17T16:48:00.002+08:00

This is really bad, my internet is lagging a lot!! Is it trying to tell me that i'm supposed to study and not use the computer?

yesterday, cecilia and jiaxin was talking about hybrid for the subjects, something about mixing subjects from arts and science stream, i think. But this was the image that popped into my head. Hybrid of rabbit and human body. haha... think about how it happened!! Amazing eh?!

2010-08-16T23:49:00.001+08:00

This magic show is really cool!!! 10 times better than that sia

2010-08-15T00:13:00.002+08:00

Priscilla is tired, or at least seems to be tired. cant seem to get enough sleep no matter how long i slept throughout the night. is it some kind of illness called the sleepy bug? Well, no matter what it is, its irritating. It somehow seems to me that I have been thinking too much, thinking about things that I shouldnt be even considering or regretting about.

I have been considering to whether I should quit my cca. seriously, its late into the night and by the time i reach home, its nearly 2330. Its fun, its enjoyable, its nice to have sports as a cca, but its tiring in the sense of not only physically but mentally too. Its like double broadsword, its cool, its fun, its different from what other people learn, but its not to my character. and the worse thing is my body is not co-ordinated and the routine itself has lots of difficult steps which i myself know that I cant do it. Its giving me a headache just to think of it. I wish somebody would say something, a sentence or anything that will make me go "ting" (lightbulb) and then I can continue my life... Feeling demoralized and irritated every week does not seem nice at all. it gets more and more demoralizing every week. Should I or Should I Not??

Can just anyone enlighten me??

2010-08-12T23:16:00.003+08:00

I have decided to update my blog, by posting some lame things for all those who stalk me. *Look at my tagboard for some names* haha... and guess who the others are, if there is.

Have been too lazy lazy to update coz was busy. Busy doing what?? Watching shows of course!!! I mean like what else can i do besides fb-ing, and studying which i seriously dont want to do...

finally have e time to catch the first few episodes of Unriddle!! Ruien!!!

Kind of like the fact that they put what will happen at the end of the episode in front to catch a glimpse, and keep the audience in suspense. that's a new thing that they tried at least. but i'm kind of sick of Chen Liping somehow. Kind of dont like her acting in that show, and the fact that i have to watch her for like another month after nearly 9 months of torturing "Your hand in mine", cum have been watching her shows on weekends too currently... damn... but at least that's a new role for her. If not for ruien, I guess I might not even watch the show, and even to the extend of regretting looking forward to it. The first episode already say who the spy is, and who are the bad and good guys so on and so forth. Same way of illustrating the story. Should have put some suspense in it, like dont say who the mole is and let everyone continue to guess. ok, hope my guess of who the good and bad guy are wrong, then at least there's some hope to the show...

2010-08-10T11:45:00.003+08:00

National day!! Went out to watch the parade at Sengkang through a big big screen. haha.. actually, I didnt really watch it, coz i fell asleep half-way, and then woke up just in time for the pledge and national anthem.

took fireworks display, but somehow, just cant seem to upload it... haiz... too bad.

2010-08-05T22:55:00.002+08:00

Priscilla is in love!!!!

with

all these below!!!

cute eh?

yummy!!!

so you know what to do the next time you see me!!!! :D

2010-08-05T12:18:00.003+08:00

Priscilla is now in school, trying to stay awake. maybe its time that we should all sleep in the comforting and relaxing lecture theatre. i screwede eup my presentation, which was really really expected. i wish there was a work that i dont have to present. Impossible eh... I'm like starting to wonder whether i really choose the right course. Did I? Or did I not? Given my character, its really difficult. haiz... I hope its going to be over soon, but my guess is the earliest will be at 4pm. haiz... should i pon cca today? Maybe I should, coz I'm really lazy... but xuan ba is tomorrow. So should I really???

2010-08-04T23:18:00.004+08:00

tomorrow is the last day. 2nd last presentation of this semester. haha... I'm going to slack. i shall not say anything during the presentation, too lazy to think of anything.

Finally finish my 2nd last project after nearly 3 weeks of staring at the computer, sometimes doing nothing. Feeling tired and drained. I'm glad for that extra 2 weeks of break, though I doubt going I'm going to really rest well.

Wushu xuan ba coming up this friday, and I'm like debating whether to pon tomorrow's training. Should I?? I dont actually care whether I get in the competition or not. Screwed up the other trial by forgetting and practically didn't finish the routine. The thing about it is that when there are nearly 20 pairs of eyes staring, and there will be more this friday, its scary. Feeling sooooo pressurizing. this is 10 times worse than presenting some rubbish in front of a class. at least u know your friends will kind of help you in a way or other. but up there? no one at all, and i'm not particularly close to anyone. thinking about it, i doubt i spoke to any others more than 10 sentences, except my partner.

Presentation!!! Quite like my end work, at least it seems nice, though not as good as my friends as usual. but... what am i going to say/ do? nothing. nothing at all. Forget it... I know i wont fail, but i might not get good grades either. It doesnt really matter.

does it?

my cover page

nice? or not?

at least for this, it killed nearly half my braincells.

and another half for the content and design inside.

2010-07-30T19:46:00.003+08:00

Oh yeah!!!! I finally bought my CD!!! which was like after nearly 2 years already... haha.. kind of didnt expect it to be still on the shelve, and the best thing, it came with a poster!! Wohoo!!! Three cheers to me! hahaha...

heard this song during lesson, played by e teacher. kind of make sense, the lyrics...

恋爱症侯群－黄舒骏

關於戀愛症候群的發生原因　至今仍然是最大一個謎
不管性別年齡職業體重學歷長相和血型　
沒有一個人可以免疫
有些專家學者研究後相信　戀愛是內分泌失調所引起
卻有別人認為戀愛屬於濾過性病毒　
像感冒無藥可救但會自動痊癒
不管你同不同意　自古到今許多例子證明
戀愛不但是一種病態　它還可能是一種變態

一般發病後的初期反應會開始改變一些生活習性
洗澡洗得特別乾淨　刷牙刷得特別用力　
半夜突然爬起來彈鋼琴
有人每天站在陽臺對路人傻笑　有人突然瘋瘋癲癲　
突然很安靜
有人一臉癡呆　對著鏡子咬著指甲打噴嚏　
有人對著小狗罵三字經
女人突然改變髮型　男人開始每天練著啞鈴
食慾不振歇斯底里四肢萎縮神經過敏
發抖抽筋都出現在這時期

隨著病情越來越變本加厲　人會變得格外敏感勇敢和噁心
寫的說的唱的都像天才詩人一般才華洋溢　
愈肉麻愈覺得有趣
有人戀愛之後每天躲在廁所哭泣　
有人開記者會宣佈戀愛的消息
有人總是喜歡兩個人躲在黑漆漆的地方　
像做了不可告人的事情
每天忙著找人算命　挖空心思改變自己　
配合對方的習性
把每天都當作紀念日　把自己當作紀念品
每天漫無目的的膩在一起　言不及意也覺得好有趣
走著坐著躺著趴著都形影不離　
像是兩人三腳又像連體嬰
心裡想的只有愛妳愛妳愛妳愛妳　
也不管家裡米缸有沒有米
也不管路上有人示威抗議　只管愛妳
心裡想的只有愛妳愛妳愛妳愛妳　
也不管海峽兩岸統一問題
也不管衣索匹亞多少難民　只管愛妳

經過一段轟轟烈烈熱戀時期　不久就會開始漸漸痊癒
兩人開始互相厭倦　互相攻擊對方缺點　
所有甜蜜都隨風而去
然後開始從錯覺和誤解中清醒　
驚訝自己為何如此不聰明
為了愛情不管一切　不顧父母朋友姐妹兄弟　
開始感到後悔不已
然後開始感到疲憊沉悶氣喘心悸牙痛頭痛夢囈
然後是精神不濟瞳孔放大脾氣暴燥四肢麻痺　
終於受不了要分離

雖然結果頗令人傷心　瞭解之後也沒什麼了不起
愛情終究是握不住的雲　只是我想要告訴妳
哦......在我落寞的歲月裡　妳的溫柔解脫我的孤寂
帶給我深深的狂喜　如此顫動著我的心靈
輕輕訴說愛妳愛妳愛妳愛妳　不管是黑夜或是黎明
不管是夢中或是清醒　深深愛妳
我要對妳說愛妳愛妳愛妳愛妳　不管是黑夜或是黎明
不管是夢中或是清醒　深深愛妳
多麼幸福　讓我遇見妳　嗚......

2010-07-28T21:30:00.002+08:00

was surfing youtube when i saw these. COOL!!!

cockroach flew on their head and body, but they finished reporting the news. PROFESSIONAL!!! but i hope it wont happen to me if i ever be a reporter.

i would most probably just jump up and scream... ok, maybe not scream, but jump really high!!

this video is like weird coz the reporter shit in her pants which was white. and its real bad. according to what i saw on youtube, apparently its supposed to be live, so its really.......

*puke*

moral of story: clear your bowels before going on TV, regardless if its live. and if you have a diarrhea, wear a pamper or dont wear white pants. At least wear a black one, so that even if you shit on it, it wont show. and if anyone ask about the smell, just say you farted accidentally or step on dog poo on the way to work.

haha... :D

all videos are from youtube.

2010-07-27T17:02:00.003+08:00

havnt been blogging for days. and I realized why, coz i forgot my url and password to my account. haha... stupid right?! have been using this blog for years and i couldnt remember my password! What's this!! my laptop had some problems, so cant use internet till i restarted all settings, so lost all my history and popular sites, so.... u know what happen next...

actually was quite lazy to blog. There wasnt anything better to do, besides hw which i dread, so i went back to watching youtube, and watched back many of the older shows that i used to quickly skip through. Still as funny and interesting. yup. and i got back my liking for the idols i like last time, which is confirm not LZX (to spite Joan. definitely not him). i doubt i ever told others about which idols i had ba, except the very 客套 Jackie Chan (which was true to some extent when really young.), i think. but i think if anyone ever went through my songs or notice, maybe will know, but doubt so... Dont really tend to say who my idols are/is, so... haha... i want their CDs, stop buying like 2/3 of them and now quite difficult to find it, even the latest one. kind of troublesome, coz only can find their really old CDs... haiz... will find time to look in more shops and on the internet, hopefully can find la...

2010-07-19T22:28:00.001+08:00

This was the trip to 88.3 FM. Its finally out now. Actually, I kind of forgot about it till my friend tagged me today. haha... nice place aint it. The studio is super super cool!!! Pls be jealous that we went there :D

hmm... found anybody missing from the picture??

2010-07-16T21:41:00.006+08:00

went out with Joan, Cecilia, JX and Tingen. actually, was looking forward to meeting them, for no apparent reasons. just felt more @ ease with them I supposed, though half the time i have total no idea what they are talking about. but it was fun.

We went to Parkway Parade, without having any ideas what to do there. Wow!! So us sia. haha... Go there then decide. but most of the time we ended up sitting @ one place for a long time. today, we sat @ HK 茶餐厅. Sat there talking for almost like 2 hours plus plus. I kind of bet the person there was a bit irritated coz we sat there and talked for super long. saw her like kind of kept looking @ our table. haha...

Talked about many things, including life in VJ so on and so forth. The only topic that i answered was when they talked about going overseas like next next year, after their 'A's and our 1mth long break. That shall be my motivation to save up money, and Joan's motivation to go and find a job. Wahaha...

2010-07-15T20:05:00.006+08:00

完了、结束了，终于。＝D
其实现在都不知是否应该是开心，还是烦恼。功课这边一手交上去，那边另一手又接了另外一样功课。刚原以为可以休息，谁知还是不行。真是悲哀。。。但是我也知道再过三个礼拜，一切正式结束。希望能撑到那时吧。

这个礼拜交上了许多功课，突然发现原来我是那么的粗心大意，功课里的许多小细节我都忽略了。有时只顾着做，希望能够越快做完，但谁知，其实当中少了许多细节自己都没注意，反而是看了其他同学的作品才发现的。太迟啦。。看来还是得多注意。。。

今天我妈终于毕业了。读了差不多快两年了吧，我想。但最衰就是要上课，没法儿去，不然我也去凑个热闹。

我妈的毕业典礼

明天和joan,JX, Cecilia 一起出去，期待。。。

2010-07-14T15:47:00.005+08:00

Its over!!! Finally its over!!! :D I never felt so relieved before. Maybe its coz i was one 0f the first few, and that the 2 before me were quite interesting. Self-defense, haha.. didnt realized can bring so much laughter to the class. too much laughter till i cant control them. but too bad, i forgot to take a video, anyway everyone was so busy doing it that i doubt anyone can take video. As usual, i forgot my lines, but it is 5 times better than the interview part. and i realized today how fast i speak under pressure. Wow!!! Its like i took 4 mins for opening when i'm at home, but i took only 2 mins opening there. and by the time i finish teaching it was only 4 mins!! Luckily got prepare 2 items, or else will be super short. haha... but it was fun, didnt really feel very nervous, perhaps its coz i enjoy doing it. kind of forgot the small details too, such as asking them to partner up and eye-contact. Should have remember it. haiz... will do better next time. :D

Norman's work is tmr, let's hope i crop nicely and find a nice splatter brush and pictures. Think will not get very high for this one somehow. Norman seems to want a complicated picture and yet a not very complicated picture. Weird eh... will see how tmr. Good Luck :D

anyway, finished Bob's picture this week. was quite ok leh, i personally think, though could be better

Pictures a bit blur, and music quite soft, so... haiz...

2010-07-13T23:07:00.002+08:00

tmr is the day!!!! Please lord, bless me with the concentration and confidence that i'll be able to pass this well. :D
Just finished preparing for SPEPRE, which was hell... My heart was like thropping so much that i wonder if it would just pop out... Whew... TAKE A DEEP BREATH!!!! wish me all the luck, i'm going need as much as anybody wish me.
Third in the row, its not gonna be nice, but i know I'll feel relief. :D all of a sudden i wonder, why did i forget chanbara???? or rather should ask cecilia about some simple self-defense techniques. the one i learnt is like so long ago, that i can barely remember. No choice, go find books on them. Doing a 10 min presentation is bad enough, what's worse is that, 10 mins seem long, which in actual fact is not. I'm kind of afraid that I'll stammer and stutter throughout, and then overtime. Know how strict Danny Yeo is, especially if he doesnt smile. He looks as though we owe him ten thousands. Scary eh...2nd time and last 2nd time. pls bless me...
I'm going to bring a camera tmr, if possible film the whole thing. I'm going to be so..... when i see myself. but nvm, it will be over soon, real soon...

@J: Hello, whoever you are. If you are really interested in CMC, first you have to be interested in chinese. Dont have to really do well for it, but at least be interested. 'o's is like 3 years 1/2 away for you, but there's still time to catch up. if you think chinese is difficult or dont like it, then dont think of taking this course coz its going to make you miserable. try mass comm if you want to get into media. Secondly, diploma for CMC is the first in S'pore, 2nd batch in NP only. So if you are saying that 'many' people say that have a higher chance of getting into, they are wrong. As long as you are interested in Chinese, no matter HCL or not, and that you get good grades for both EL1,Maths chinese and any 2 subjects, you have a chance of getting into the course. of course the lower your grade, the better your chances, HCL or not.
If you really want to get in, start trying hard.
More info on CMC @ NP:
http://www.np.edu.sg/hms/courses/cmc/Pages/cmc_en.aspx

ooh... I'm like advertising for my course, which is no good, coz i dont get paid for doing this. T.T

2010-07-13T04:51:00.002+08:00

priscilla is up now. doing what? doing work. haiz... 1 essay of like 1000 words not done yet. but then again, i have like total no idea how to do it. its like what on earth is 公共关系的手法? check internet, check books also dont have. is it like the same as 功能? what a headache. what makes it worse is that i finish school today @11 and plan to pon cca so that can prepare for presentation tmr, but have to wait till like 5pm just so that can hand in this hw. WTH!!! that's like 6hours of break in between, 10 times worse than Joan on mondays (I think). haiz.... what's this man! should have just choose a lucky no for us to dump the files in can le ma. go reservist still can go out of camp to collect hw? first time i heard sia... better still if tmr realized just have to 'put' in one of the lockers can le...

1 essay left... Jiayous!!!!

3 weeks of school?? Jia Jiayous!!! :D

2010-07-09T18:54:00.003+08:00

woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. was like super irritated the whole day that I was glad i didnt go school. Would have just offended anyone who tries to interact with me. For all i know, even those who didnt would not be spared.

Let's see today. my alarm rang at like 5.15, 5.30 and 6.30 this morning, and each time, i thought it was 6.30 when i off it. Then i woke up @ 8am, still tired so i tried going back to sleep, in which i cant. so i woke up and started using the computer. played RoE and realized that the village i was going to attacked had like 4000 knights and 6000 infantry!!! which killed all my troops i sent there last night. F! then did housekeeping on FB. after which tried loading my shows which failed numerous times. Kept loading half-way then cant load already. What a spoiler! F! went out for macs coz just felt like eating it. so went there on my bike, in which realized some really inconsiderate people stationed their bikes in the middle of the pathway. and one of them came out and stared at me. nearly collide into their bikes. F! inside macs was fine, besides the fact that there were sec sch students who came in making a great hell of noise. irritating people! F! went home after my laptop battery became flat. stayed at home for like only 1 hour before going to the library. in the library, found my mum half an hour after i reached there. got 'said' by her for not finding her. F! how m i supposed to know where she is?! thought i so free sia. F! went to eat. she was like trying to talk to me, but i didnt want to answer nor listen. but was 'afraid' that she would 'say' me so came out with some stupid questions to fu yan her. but apparently somehow was so irritated that i 'lashed out' @ her. going home. some idiot was so clumsy that he hit my bike while parking his and didnt bother to put my bike up. F! and then some idiot stood in the middle of the bike road trying to see if i have got a bicycle license. nearly yelled F in front of his face. dumb people. was me riding towards him, and didnt bother to stand up. trying to see if my bike will hit him first or he hit my bike first a. F! then ride along till reaching a traffic light. saw this girl so engrossed in reading that i bet she didnt see me coming. i nearly wanted to bang into her to see if she realized there was a bike. and then some indian was walking in front of me and just cut across the pathway without giving signal. F! i should install a bell on my bike which goes 'ring' everytime i ride, then the whole world will know that a bike is behind, and they should look before the walked! all great for safety that the schools teach. Funny thing, how come they teach students safety on the roads and not safety on the pedestrian path? for all we know the next statistics we see. No of accidents on the pedestrian path is 2 times the number of accidents on the road. by then, i would have just laughed my head off!! cursed F! like 10 thousands time today. irritating mood. so i decided to punish myself by not talking to anyone tonight.

one good thing about today. I finished 1 question essay of 1000 words! Yipee!!! but i couldnt find the APA style of it on the web. Damn!! 1 more question essay to go, and i will deal it in no time at home. Three Cheers!!

would u buy this car?

Why and why not?

hmmmm....

2010-07-08T23:02:00.002+08:00

1 down, 5 more hw and 1 presentation left to go. It all ends next week, which gives me only 3 days!!! Let's see,

1 report, hmm... nearly done credits to Joan's book. I nvr knew mockingbird would be in good use one day.

1 design of poster, which i currently have no inspiration. INSPIRATIONS!!! COME'ON TO ME!!!

1 paper consisting of 3 questions, involving 2 1000 words essays that is worth 40 marks each asking about some maslow's theory. hmm... that's real bad coz i cant crap out a 1000 words essay, the most only 300 which has killed nearly 80% of my brain juice. HELP!!!

1 editting of pictures that i have snapped. :D MY MUM!! which i have to admit, not professional, but i think quite nice leh. haha... The previous one I've got a B+ which was like an A+ in my eyes. Know why? coz it was difficult to take pictures, esp given my character, how to find? haha...

Last, 1 hw on writing media, writing newspaper articles. Slightly different from writing 报章读后感. all of a sudden, I regretted not listening to 郑老师. now is like having trouble sia... oh man... laoshi, next time i go sit in your class la, i promize i wont fall asleep de!!

and presentation on like teaching somebody something. 指导性呈现. actually, cant really find something to teach, coz i really got nothing to teach. at first thought of teaching like magic tricks but found it quite lame la, esp when i cant practise and master it in like 5 days. so, decided, teach self-defense techniques. i guess chanbara will come in good use. the blocking and 闪-ing. and some i learnt outside. Hope i still remember them, and hope it works. cant afford to keep getting C for them.

doraemon

2010-07-05T22:02:00.002+08:00

Japanese

Cantonese

my guess is this is the newer version

Chinese

Thai

English

Its horrible, terrible and vegetable...

all videos are from youtube.

2010-07-03T00:07:00.002+08:00

Oh yeh, Oh yeh, Oh yeh, Hey!!

Oh Yeh, Oh Yeh, Oh Yeh Ho!!!

You are the one Singapore, now and ......

(I kind of dont know the lyrics, but that oh yeh thing is so stuck in my head!)

Today's a happy day. Yup, a quite happy day. coz I didnt have school at home. i could finally replenish the lack of sleep i had the past few days. Then I woke up slacking too. used the computer till 1pm which was a really bad idea. It was about to rain then, and the worse thing was, I'm going back to AHS!! which means there isnt any shelter and I'm going to get wet. The only good thing was that, I had brought an umbrella and I was wearing slippers, which means that i'm 10 times better than joan who was drenched from head to toe. haha...

It was only in school that I hear once again the familiar sounds of seniors shouting, stamping of feet as they did drills etc. Once again, I realized, that I really missed those times back then. If the clock could turn, I would treasure the time and friends 10000000000000 times more. Me and Joan went to find the guides, in which we tried all the usual place and we could not find them, till we went to the upper sec block 4th and 5th storey then we did found them. Wow!! I'm like a bit quite used to lifts, that I forgot climbing stairs is ... ok not tiring, but healthy. Maybe we should climb stairs more often when we are in NP, and that will only occur when I'm not bringing my laptop. In short, it will never happen. haha... Looking at all the guides, to be frank I have total no idea who most of them are, and for some I even forgot some of the sec 4s, eg clara. Funny meh? quite normal right, since we did not see them for almost 2 years, i think. Even if I saw them, I'll just look away, so equals to never see them.

They were playing games, a bit different from the usual one, but in support of YOG I believe. They were like playing lumbo, and dancing and some forming the longest line I think. haha... While looking at them, I wonder where did we ever had those courage to do those acts before. If anyone were to ask me to do it now, reasonably, I would be embarrassed. But if I were super high and sot on that day, I might even do it. But then, seriously, where did we get those courage?? but it was fun watching them. Didnt went to find teachers for I've no idea what reason. but then again, I would not know what to talk to them, so forget it.

Work. Fun, busy. Hmm... was quite alright. Had me, James, 1 CSQ de, and 1 new F/T. but that CSQ guy was not bad, except that I kind of think that he doesnt like to clear tables. haha... At least I helped out there or else I'll be thinking why did I not pon work?? haha... It was kind of funny given the fact that Liping called me this morning to ask me whether I want pon work and Keat msg me to ask me whether I want pon. one reason was to go out with them, another reason was because it was friday and it will be so busy. haha... unlucky james. but being nice to him, I decided not to pon, which was quite lucky for him, coz he couldnt really cope at a few periods of time. So went to help him till outside cmi then went outside help. To be frank, it was a nice feeling to be able to be familiar with both inside and outside. It kind of makes one feel important. not that he/she is indispensable but just that kind of you are taken notice of, and when they need help they will find you so that have work to do instead of just standing and slacking. Fun... haha... but ended quite late at abt 1025, which wasnt the usual timing. No idea how come we end so late. Guess was they were a bit slow so i started cleaning the tables late... after work, Keat called to ask whether we died today. wth right!! still say 风凉话. tmr he and Liping die. coz i'm so going to slack all the way, i think. haha... doubt so because i'm a hardworking person!! haha...

One thing that I kept wondering. How do i work more there than at home? It is because I take things for granted that someone will do it for me?? maybe, but its time to change...

noticeboard from some class, kind of like it.

Its autumn...

poster in school

Spot the mistake

The answer.

Stop pretending to read the book, cher.

at lest flip it the right way up.

never knew AHS had this sign.

my guess was that it is new.

but i have this feeling that someone would say it was there all along.

but where's the exit because it was pointing to the staircase,

which was like duh...

you re on the top level and not running to the staircase?

jump down la, fast and easy

amitofo

2010-06-30T08:31:00.003+08:00

havnt been blogging for the past one week, because I was lazy. Hmm... not exactly lazy, but nothing has been going on. just the same old routine. Going school, presentation, coming home, sleep... haha.. this is called life of a student. cant be changed.

Yesterday presentation suck. Once again, I screwed them up, or rather we screwed it up. I so dislike the fact that the instruction sheet she gave us was not clear, then she pinpoint on our mistakes. Is like who knows they have to be link... haiz... I bet I'm going to screw up badly for this term. Suddenly, I'm so glad that I didnt get into any more interview for the scholarship, or else for all u know, I might be that next student who killed him/herself... But seriously, poly life isnt as easy-going as others think. Deadlines aren't very near, but it aint far. Its also stressful in a different way that all homeworks come at different time, but end at the same date. So, never think that JC life is stressful while poly is not. Its just that our life is more vibrant in a way that we dont have to take 'A' levels in 2 years, and that we tend to be more casual and easy-going, that's all.

It's time once again that lesson will be starting in 12mins, and and deadlines are coming up in the 1 or 2 weeks, in which I havnt really started!! But I'm sure looking forward to 6 weeks later in which we have YOG cum study break for a month (WOW!) and then 2 days of examinations after which holidays for 6 weeks. YIPEE!! JC students, please be envious!!! :D

2010-06-24T23:22:00.002+08:00

went to Safra Radio today to explore 88.3FM. Being able to go to a radio station is cool enough, and the fact that it is part of a military place (which I think is like a HQ??) makes it more cool!!! Anyway the place was not very big, its just like the size of a normal office covering almost 1/2 of the entire floor. Yup, but though its small, they have all kinds of equipments, including mixer, speakers etc. Those that I saw at PSP. Cool eh... Their studios were big, ok those that they normally use i guess, some others for recording were kind of small in size, but since they were for recording, i guess it doesnt matter. 4 people did like recording for the some talk show break, which was WOW!!! but obviously, that doesnt include me. haha... If i ever go up, cfm stone de and nothing will come out. Also saw their sister station, Power 98FM. Kind of cool to see people that you see on magazines/Tv shows etc in real life. But actually, some looked familiar but have no idea who they are. That's for 98FM. haha... For 88.3FM basically besides candyce, I have no idea who the others are... Pathetic eh... but guess that's how it is, since its more of a music station. I didnt actually realized the difference in the different radio stations till today, as in the content and shows that they host. 883FM is the music station, more of for the youngsters, whereas 972 is more of for the older generation, older songs etc. 933 is the entertainment station, where u get a lot of those 八卦stuff and 95.8 is more of the current affairs. haha... everything are different for each radio stations.

Besides, everything was prepared before hand, including the songs, the sentences that they say etc. Everything had to be in order and kind of 'carefully scanned through'... Even the hosts were chosen to match the show to their personalities. Cool eh... had great fun there, eye-opening experience...

P.S No cameras and phones allowed, so no pictures. Too bad, start imagining what it is like. haha...

2010-06-21T20:55:00.004+08:00

watched the Karate Kid today. It was a nice show, though I personally think that 140 mins is a bit too long, but yup, it was fantastic. Showed all the nice kungfu moves from like different people which was really good. haha... basically dont mind watching it again, and again, esp the last part...

jackie chan

han wenwen

WANG ZHENWEI

jaden smith

apparently some comments of him aint very good...

and that I personally dont really like him...

2010-06-19T19:09:00.003+08:00

homework... homework... homework...

Teachers seem to give u so much homework that it is enough for the whole month. I wonder if they realized that the 2 weeks break is not meant for homework and projects, but also to slack a bit here and there, to catch up with friends, and go out to catch up on all the movies shows, or to stay home to BLOG, FACEBOOK, and catch up on the missed television shows!!! just checked my homework again, realized there were 2 projects not even started yet, and i have total idea what we were going to do!!! This is so Priscilla. Trust her to not even know what the homework is about.

1 week left for break, thought that could work more these 2 weeks, but apparently cant make it. either that, or just risk not finishing the work, in which is different from last time where we can delay. This time, no pass up, no marks. no marks, no finishing for module(means repeating the same one again), no finishing of module, no graduating, no graduating, no university. no university, no uni, no cert. no cert, no good job. no good job, no good salary. no good salary, no good life. no good life, slog for the rest of ur life. slogging, no time for your family (if u decide to have one.) No time for family, no good salary, no good job, no cert, no uni, no graduating, no finishing of module, no marks, no pass up----------wasted 3 years in poly... which makes a difference to ur children. See!!! this how smart schools are. 1 gone, all gone.... what a waste of my time!!!!!

watched 快樂少林today... their martial arts was cool!!! but coz the air-con was cold, the lights were nearly off and it was so comfortable that i almost fell asleep. haha... Paid abt 40 dollars just to go there sleep... but their martial arts were WOW!!!! I so loved it. Not regretted paying that extra $3 for sistic fare... though it was.... ya... never seen so much different martial arts at a time. mostly only see the few main ones from 形意拳 but this time got more than 10 kinds. haha... and i just realized today that 金庸 was the only writer who actually had gone inside the 少林寺藏經閣 to read their 武林秘笈. wow... and all along i thought how imaginative he was to come up with all the names of the 武功. haha... but still it wasnt easy to come up with the story plot and incorporating all the 武功 inside... I'll start reading his books again for all i know. In short, it was fantastic!!! Start regretting those who didnt go...

Next one i want to go will be this korean dance group sachoom... but i know my mum cfm wont let me de...

禪

what a easy yet difficult word to understand...

打坐要心平氣和。

做功課也要心平氣和，勿煩躁。切記，切記。

我現在就要學，因為要開始做功課了。

阿彌陀佛。。。

2010-06-19T00:02:00.003+08:00

today is a happy day.

went out with work colleagues. at first was me, alicia, keat and Lp. then A could not make it, and Lp met james outside. so invited him along. haha... it was kind of fun, but also tiring and irritating. reason coz we ate 烤肉 buffet till 4 and wandered around just like wandering ghost till 5 before making our way back to simei. It was bad because we were so tired. and at first we wanted to watch a movie!!!! so... too bad... at first is i can pon de, but Lp cant so... too bad...

anyway when we reached there, there was like a lot of customers, so at least helped a little, or else left siying there one person with 小妹 and alvin, quite jialat also... haha... but next week... scared alrdy. friday dont dare do le, see 小妹 i also want die. but is like she's older than me, so shouldnt call her小妹。 call her 大姐 better idea right. but like that she like older than me, not nice. i dont like. i shall call her 老兄. haha... no link, but who cares. she doesnt look or feel older than me lor. dumb questions also can ask, also dont think de. lucky she today go tag Alvin, also new, so not much of help... haha... think me, Lp gave up le, didnt even bother her at all. see her only, 闪，闪，闪！！！smart eh... haha... acquire the skill of avoiding people whom i dont like. just as how i avoid mother chicken, last time. Just that mother chicken dont move, while she keeps moving. if i was the manager, straight away fire her le lor... but too bad I'm not, and they wont since they are so in need of people. Poor us... think Siying maybe also. but not sure leh. Siying like no temper de lor, always smile then dont talk. 小妹maybe see like that also dont talk to her le. irritating leh, always 带坏Alvin, ask him 偷工 when he's supposed to do sth. she lazy can le, why drag other people in. tell her also dont listen, then tell other people the wrong thing. even she tell correct, she also dont do, so what's the difference??

Look at the dislike i have for her. waste my time typing all this...

saw candice ma'am there... so suay sia. at first didnt actually recognize her, just found her familiar. No, i didnt even saw her at first till like her table called for bill then i went over, and while i was billing, kept wondering how come she kept staring at me, till she popped the question "were you from anglican guides?" then i looked at her, and suddenly.... "no wonder she kept staring la!" haha... at first i was like "how come this customer so rude, keep staring, make me so nervous lor." Note that its common, coz count wrong plates or anything wrong , super jialat and mafan one. This is like the 3rd time i saw people i know, and gosh, thought that work simei nobody will come lor. coz most go tampines. What's this?! haiz.... nvm, let's just pretend u have total no idea who they are, or that u forgot them, unless they say hi to u or sth. then give them that "who the hell u are, face." 搞點. anyway there are people look alike, and for u know, there are Priscilla look-alike somewhere. So now u know, if u think u see me on the street, and u said hi, but i didnt answer u, its not because i tao u, its just that u saw me look-alike that's all... :D

Internet is working slowly esp Realms of Empire!! so got a lot of time.

Tmr, Priscilla is going to watch 快乐少林. YAY!!!! Let's hope its nice... hahaha...

Tmr, Priscilla shall pon work. YAY!!! Let's hope its worth it... hahaha...

This is so Priscilla. Too bad, its Priscilla. that's me...

2010-06-13T12:03:00.002+08:00

“但是这间房子是我的！”

或者说者无心，但听者有意。好几次为了整理房间的问题，我们、他们起了不少的争执。也好几次她说了这么一句话，结束了争执。因为这句话，感情慢慢转变，感觉也变了。“家是避风港”，这句话常常使我觉得温馨，使我觉得安全，使我觉得家才是我真正能够存在的地方。但现在因那句话，我变了，想法变了，感觉也变了。这里似乎也不是我的容身之地。喜好不一，难免会起争执。我喜欢房间比较乱，这样才有住的感觉，感觉比较贴近自己，属于自己。但她喜欢干净，喜欢整齐，看起来比较顺眼。就这样而起了争执，而次次都是这句话结束了争执，使我、他顺了她的意。整个感觉就如我是租客，她是房东。房子是她的，那这儿有没有我们都是其次啦。曾经很多很多次，老是觉得这儿只是吃饭睡觉的地方，还有被管的地方。小时候都没那遭，反而大了才被约束。真讽刺。

曾经小时候都是幻觉，时间的流逝，使我们渐渐的长大，渐渐的有主见，已经不是那只会顺从他人意的小娃儿。但争执这回事，一人让一步不就得了吗？最怕就是你退一步，他进十步。到时就算退到角落头，他还是会不断地往前进。人啊，就是那么贪心。。。

2010-06-10T23:17:00.002+08:00

12 more hours, and its officially the end of school. at least for now. 2 weeks of break. and damn i lost my first week intending to go out, but too bad, got lessons. haiz... dread going back to school. there's no shuttle, and have to squeeze the morning crowd, which is ... fantastic. wake up 1 hour earlier just to do that. What's this?! intending to pon sia, but then... no choice. 10 days break excluding weekends, going back on like 4 days for lessons, 2 days for cca, so left with 4 days break?! that's not even a week. 10 times, no i'll be nicer, 5 times worse than secondary school..

OK PRISCILLA!!! ITS TIME TO GROW UP!!! STOP COMPARING, ITS 10 TIMES DIFFERENT!!!

ok priscilla grew up to level 100. win le, not is 刀枪不入... hehe... how many can do that sia. looking forward to tmr. 12 hours more.. then slack before zooming off to work.

I'm beginning to like work, and i seem to have realized that i talk 1 day at work is like almost equivalent to i talk almost 2-3 days in school. This is how quiet i am. 自闭症?? haha... My class was saying that everyone go taiwan at the end of year 1 together. possible? i wonder... ok, i'm not being pessimistic, but according to past experience with other people, this kind is unlikely. and end of year 1 is like what, half a year later. changes will happen during that time. or maybe no one remembers... but anyway, i'm longing to go overseas alone... ok, maybe with friends too. which means work more, or no money....

Its a tiring day... regretting waking up early to go sch with Peh. what a dumb decision. Priscilla has understand.

2010-06-08T08:54:00.002+08:00

tmr is the day....... DOOM DAY!!!! i have got a prediction its going to be a disaster. My teeth will start chattering, heart will be pounding faster, tongue get twisted, and start blabbering nonsense, or worse, there might not be any words coming out! HELP!!!!!!

seriously, I so hate interviews, especially when its like somebody you know, and apparently they have talked so much about themselves that you totally have no idea what u want to ask them, so haiz....

I need all the good luck that i can get. but the best is give me your gift of gab, whoever has it. I'll be totally grateful for life.............

2010-06-03T23:24:00.001+08:00

职业道德与社会道德，你会选择哪个？

根据自己的了解，媒体的职业道德就是把最真实的新闻带给观众，报道最新的消息。而媒体的社会道德是要对社会负起责任，什么可以刊登，什么不能都得知道。同时，也要给予他人最基本的尊敬。

但是往往显示生活中，事实并非如此。看过，听过那么多新闻关于狗仔队，他们是尽责吗？绝对是，因为他们能够挖到料来给那些充满好奇心的观众。但与此同时，却触犯了他人的个人隐私，没有给予他们最基本的尊敬及空间。

上课老师就谈到了中国某某报馆的记者在四川地震中为了交差而在现场告诉当时的救护人员“先等一下给我们拍5分钟，拍完了我们就走”。那是多么无情的话语。5分钟或许听来很少，但在那时候却能够给予伤者及卡在底转下的伤者所需的救护。那位记者尽责吗？我觉得是。他们是尽责的，因为把最真实的一面拍成照片给观众看。是，出发点是好的，但社会道德呢？没看见。如果你是他，二者之间会选择哪一样？现在我可以说选择后者，但到了真正进行时，是会担心会因为耳濡目染，或在选择期限与人格之时，会选择放下人格，选择饭碗。

也看了其他的一些资料，中国某个地区的报纸刊登了一位小姐被一位警员揪着头的裸照，其中照片也有一位‘顾客’的在现场。或许为了起警惕的作用，他们刊登了。这样做尽责吗？尽责。因为它起了警惕的作用。但社会道德呢？也没看到。毕竟小姐也是人，这么做－无情。

不管哪份工，很多时候都会有利益冲突。或者是私人与公共，又或像媒体，社会与职业道德。不管怎样，凡做每件事前都得先考量，哪个才是最重要的。

希望在将来，我不会失去现在拥有的理性。

2010-06-03T22:23:00.005+08:00

今天上了一堂沟通与呈现的课，学了访问技巧。就觉得说访问技术容易，又是困难。容易的是就好像在说说话一样，与不同的人闲聊。但是在说话的同时都会有重点要告诉听者，不像我们平时说话可以由一个话题扯倒另一个话题。上了课之后就对于访问者和受访者有更进一步的了解。我们也看了《超级主持人》的片段。现在在了解应有的说话方式及姿势后，又觉得其实他们也没之前想像中那么好。打个比方，那届的的冠军好像是林翠芳吧（也不太记得了）。但是现在回头一看，其实也不错啦。但有一个却也是有实力与她斗－－梁怡。以前不怎么注意，但今天却让我觉得她是看过片段5位女参赛者中，我觉得其中比较好的一位吧。当然另一位是林翠芳也不错。梁怡的态度很自然，感觉很有信心，而且反应相当快，口齿伶俐。但可惜她的优点却没有被裁判看到。其实那些裁判也不是很专业的啊，只是可能经验比较老道吧。毕竟他们混了相当一段时间，而对于这种比赛，每个人风格不同，做事的方式不同。被忽略掉，那是一种可惜。

晚上去了新传媒看《我要唱下去》现场录影。看到了一些在电视上曾经出现过的工作人员。其中有摄影师 A Boon，另一个忘了他的名字。原本一位录影可能会稍微早点开始，但可能因为之前录影耽误了，所以我、美珍、若冰和藗蓂就等了差不多两个小时才有人出来。但其中我们也没闲着。我的任务就是负责观看电视节目。哈哈。。。当时就播放《小娘惹》。到现在还不怎么喜欢，可能因为演员关系吧。。。我就在那儿边批评，边看。真实典型的观众／auntie。哈哈。。做在那儿闲着，获益也不少。看到了5频道的chua enlai，也看到了杨伟烈。虽然那时不是很清楚记得他演什么戏，那就这样咯。原本要拍照，但没拍到。没法儿。。。

终于进去了，又等了一段时间，李国煌上台，说了一些有的没的，但那是他的风格，又能怎样。之后看到了陈迪雅，carrie yang，和孙文海。就这样，就录了3个钟头。其实本身认为可以不需要那么长，但因为主持人关系才拖到那么长。看了他昨天的主持，突然不喜欢，甚至有点讨厌他。感觉上他的幽默是建立在别人的短处，取笑别人才得以观众的笑声。或许一次两次还算ok，但久了就觉得很厌烦。或许每个人的想法不同但相信自己不会在支持他了。

p.s 他们那边说不能拍照所以我就很乖地没有拍照。哈哈。。。2年后的今天希望我也能从里面出来。当然，如果有更好的地方，就当然去更好的地方啦！

2010-06-01T14:24:00.001+08:00

I AM NOW IN SCHOOL, SLACKING BECAUSE I WASNT LISTENING TO THE TEACHER... WHAT A SLACKER!!! I AM SURE SOOOO LOOKING FORWARD TO NEXT FRIDAY, THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL. BUT BEFORE THE HOLIDAYS, THERE WILL BE LOTS OF HOMEWORK TO BE DONE. SOME INCLUDING GROUP REPORT CUM POWERPOINT AND INDIVIDUAL REPORT AND QUIZZES ON INTERVIEWS!!! IS THAT A NICE THING??? QUITE OK LA... I'M SUPPOSED TO GO FOR CCA TODAY, IN WHICH I DECIDED TO PON IT, COZ I WAS TOO LAZY. OK, I KIND OF REGRET GOING FOR THIS CCA, HALF-HALF COZ IT ENDS SO LATE, BUT ITS MY INTEREST. WHAT CONFLICTING IDEAS... LAZY PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT SLACKER THINGS.... THAT'S ME...

2010-05-31T21:33:00.002+08:00

Today is a happy day!!! hahaha... coz its one of the rare times i finished my hw very on time. YAY!!!! then went to ahma's house after school and took some b=very lousy pictures. On the bus there was like super cool. i heard 2 ahmas speaking, goodness know what they speak about but one of them had a super low voice, lower than guys sia, and another one had a voice which hears like donald duck!!! I bet she dubbed donald duck before. Cool eh? and they were talking in english, all the more cool eh? and the more i believe she dubbed donald duck before. haha!!!

2010-05-30T22:23:00.003+08:00

had social psychology experiment today. It was kind of fun and yet lame. haha.. ok it wasnt exactly lame, but just that people kept staring at us with some weird look, like we were some crazy people or something, which I admit, yes we are, to actually do something like that. But, thinking about it, at least it is so much better like pretending to faint in public. haha.. this is 10 times easier, just sit by the side and count the people. haha...

Actually what our group did was like to paste a male and female signs on 2 doors side-by-side, and to see whether people follow the signs. haha... interesting findings we have, and funny too... We were like anticipating whether people will follow them or ignore, and that whether couple and families will split up. haha...

Report not done yet, so cant give the stats yet, will blog about it on 4th june i guess, after our presentation and report. haha... that's if i remember...

look at the improvement after bob's lesson...

photos by michelle

after that went to food fair, again. haha... food was yummy but not the squeezing part. overheard one of my friends saying that if they dont squeeze, we will never move forward and will always be on the same place. thinking about it, yeah, true. but the thing is, if people want to move, there are bound to be some who will move back a little right? if everyone was to keep moving forward, and no one makes space for people to move, the place will be chaotic. maybe it's coz of their perception that being in a competitive society, every one has to move forward and not fall backward or lag behind. is it the same reason to what was happening at the food fair or was it not?

While on the way back home, mum and bro and me started chatting on goodness know what topic when we started talking about how unhelpful some people are. Its like my bro started talking about how nobody ask him to wake up at the pasir ris when they alight, and my bro found out he was at the terminal station when he woke up. Pathetic eh? then I was like nobody woke me up when reach bus interchange, and i only realized it when the bus shut its engine. ok, at least my situation is 5 times better than my bro. but then again, I mean its like we all know its the terminal station, the train or bus is going to stop running, and the least that one could do is just to wake them up and not like turn a blind eye. thats called helpful and graciousness and not self-centered. is it that difficult to just shake the person? if afraid or scared paiseh then just pretend u accidentally bump into that person or the chair or whatever so that the person sleeping will be jolted... luckily then my mum spoke of a story of an old lady who asked a sleeping student to wake up when she thought he missed his stop. if an old lady can do it, why not a young one? its not as if he/she is going to scold or eat u up or something right?? but then again, i guess its kind of a norm now to just mind your own business...

2010-05-30T00:39:00.002+08:00

Its time!! Its time!! Its time to take a break... haha...

in actual fact, i'm not really stressed, though i can see how the others are, people like Joan Peh, who is having tests and quizzes etc...mine is not. ok, we do have, but in another way. there is this interview, supposedly to be a test. So u interview your classmate, which i have totally no idea how... but anyway, i failed once, failing another time is a NO-NO, coz i dont want to repeat the module AGAIN!!! but heard from Peh that on days they dont have tests, they can dont come. I wonder if we are the same, though doubt so ba. Afterall, we are 2 different course.

This week has been a fast-paced one. Tiring, but relieved. Finally I handed in Bob and Norman work, which was a relieved, coz i did both at the last min, and forgo my sleep, which is my first time i did that. haha.. CHANGES... no choice la. but then, I'm glad there's a holiday on friday, which means i dont have to wake up early. haha... slept till like 10 plus yesterday, which was a miracle, coz i set my alarm to like 5 plus.

work today suck... ok, not exactly suck, but i was happy the whole afternoon when she spoil my day. but then again, WHO IS SHE TO SPOIL MY DAY?! irritated sia. There for like 2 weeks, and still dont know how hold the tray. Tray nia ma, got so difficult meh? come'on la, nobody taught me to hold a tray when i was new la, and i'm like 17 and she's what? 19!! i feel older than her la. in fact i look old, hmm... not old but MATURE!!! haha... Jason thought i was year 2, and didnt believe when i told him i was a year 1. haha... this is called MATURITY LOOK!!! LEARN IT, PEH!!! haha...

I feel weird. It seems as though i'm like smiling and laughing and talking only on sat, when I'm working... maybe its coz at work, i see many kids, most of them running about. they look as though they are without worries. its weird, and aint supposed to be like that. haiz... perhaps I'm still not used to it yet. Time seems to be fast yet slow...

如果時光可以倒流，你會晤會選擇第二條路？或者我們慢慢成長，世界觀、價值觀都唔一樣定係因為我哋將好簡單地嘢睇成好複雜，自尋煩惱？或者做細佬仔會快樂啲，因為佢哋都係天真無邪嘅？懷念。。。

2010-05-26T22:35:00.004+08:00

2010-05-24T21:06:00.002+08:00

3 more weeks to hols... I'm sure not looking forward to it, coz it means research research and more research, which also means books books and more books. I'm like seeing books everywhere even when I sleep!!!!! what's this?! this aint supposed to happen!! haiz...

3 more days to submission of 3 homework. The number 3 seems to like and dislike me. 3333333333................ I was done with like 3 designs yesterday, and all 3 got rejected. so i'll have to redo 3 designs and print them out in 3 days. ok, actually 4 design, but i kind of gave up on the last one(fashion). ok, I actually had a brainwave in sch. Design logo for the inner layer. Smart eh?? wanted to do in sch, but a bit paiseh leh. But then again, I'm kind of afraid it wont look nice, and will pull down my marks. headache sia...

2010-05-21T22:10:00.002+08:00

sch was fun today. one of the rare ones. haha.. was like on drugs today la, super high and was blabbering nonsense. What's this, manz... I ain't supposed to do that! I'm like 17 and still blabbering nonsense?! but it was fun. It has been quite a while since I go crazy. Sch is starting to get better i think, besides the fact that homework are going to be due in like 1 week and 2 weeks time, and I'm SO NOT DONE with research!!! going chiong library on sunday. Hope can spend like 2-3 hours or so only. Too bad they dont allow borrowing in the reference room. haiz...

If i spend 2-3 hours only in the library, means I may go to navy open house! wow!!!! hope to go there. heard from my mum its open house is once every 3 years... its gonna be NICE!!!

2010-05-20T10:36:00.002+08:00

今天上了一堂沟通与呈现的课。感觉还算ok。但有点不舒服。他今天的辅导课让我们潜入到自己的内心世界，回想童年往事，也梦见将来、成长的过程。或者是我，但通过这件事，突然使我回想起童年开心的日子，与朋友在学校玩hopscotch 时，想到小时候与家人到澳洲旅行，想到以前的好朋友，但也让我想起一直逃避的问题，一直不愿再听的言语，一直不愿再回想的荧幕。或许是内疚，或许是害怕，或许是懦弱，但因为不想面对，而选择逃避，这一幕幕浮现在我眼前。原来它们一直都存在，只是因逃避而将他们抛在脑后罢了。

慢慢地睁开眼，伟哥又要我们写下大人对我们说的话，又要我们写下自己对小孩说的话。当时就想是否应该真的把大人与我说的话老老实实地写下来，还是当场编一个。想了想否定了后者。写下话后，突然发现没一句好话，全都是妈妈对我说的。突然发现原来这些都是我一直不愿面对，不愿再听，一直逃避的言语和事情。写下后，伟哥又谈了一会儿，就让我们绕圈子说一遍自己写在纸上的言语。绕了一圈，发现许多同学的父母与他们说的话都是激励，是鼓励，是称赞，感觉好像唯独我是例外。那一刹那，感觉有点酸溜溜的，泪水在眼眶里打转。或许每个人成长经历不同，或许性格不同，每个人想的事情不同。选择小声地读出来一个伤害没那么深的话，有人听到也好，没人听到也好，无所谓，反正不会明白的。

好不容易捱到结束，把心一横，将那张即令我看到童年快乐时光，及存有不开心言语的纸给丢进垃圾桶。毕竟快乐时光过去了，往后看是无法改变什么，留张照当纪念足够了。而不开心的言语也把它丢掉吧，反正存着也没用。

用左手画的童年快乐的地方

在转学前的“光华学校”

（美术太烂，就算相得出，也画不出）

学校桌子的其中一个插头。

没想到到这种年龄还有人那么无聊。

无聊就开电脑啦！